I became a mom at 25. What I knew then and what I know now are so vastly different. A lot of which is attributed to growth, clarity, and the span of maturing from my early/mid twenties to now almost 30. Motherhood changed me in ways I wasn’t expecting.
Becoming a mother was the most profound moment of my life. It was the day my life felt like it finally had more of a purpose and more of a why. For any mother, most of us can candidly recount the day our little ones made us a momma and what it meant to us.
As mothers we almost immediately become instinctive upon the arrival of our babies–however, we grow with knowledge, trials, and tribulations. I like to believe we all know the moment we become a mother. Whether it be when we are still pregnant or when your baby arrives.
With that said, our lives drastically change when this moment happens. What we once thought we knew, no longer is. Our everyday routine becomes flipped upside down. Our relationships struggle and become weaker or stronger. We struggle. Mostly with the dynamic change in our physical and emotional state.
This sometimes leads to postpartum depression and/or postpartum anxiety. Other times it leads us to become stronger individuals. The truth is, everyone is different and motherhood affects every single person uniquely.
A lot has changed since I first became a mom. The struggles of rediscovering myself have been the utmost challenge in my day to day life. For starters, I was learning to cope with newfound anxiety that I had never experienced before. I also had to learn to adapt with my partner all the while trying to keep our relationship afloat when so much change was happening. Little by little I have gotten to the point in life where I’m at now.
Here is what I have learned now that I am in my late twenties, and embarking on a new decade, my thirties.
How Motherhood Changed Me In My Late 20s
On self growth:
If any other twenty-something is struggling with becoming a mom in her early-mid twenties and feels lost or is wondering how you are going to get through this; I am here to tell you… it will get better.
Undoubtedly, becoming a mother was the best thing to ever happen to me. But, since I am here to be honest with other mommas; I can honestly say it was also one the hardest moments of my life. More so a chapter than a moment in time.
Becoming a mom simultaneously made me and broke me. My self esteem and self love went out the door almost immediately. I questioned every and any aspect of my life. I am almost too embarrassed to admit that I also questioned every aspect of my worth in being a mother.
It’s something I still struggle with till this very day and truthfully, I will always struggle with it. But, in just four and a half years I have done some serious soul searching and given myself the opportunity to listen and learn and gain as much knowledge as possible about self-worth and loving yourself daily.
Listening to several podcasts, lots of reading, and time to myself have helped me tremendously. It has helped me to reflect and absorb what I need in order to gain clarity and to be honest with myself.
Self growth is never-ending and we are always growing and adapting. However, I feel that with maturity and growth I have gained more mental clarity on this subject. Self growth isn’t just a chapter of life, it’s a continuous tool that will never not be useful in our lives. It’s important to consistently and continuously grow and love ourselves.
On my relationship with my partner:
Self growth has had a tremendous effect on my relationship, both good and bad. But motherhood has been the main component of my relationships’ downfalls and growth.
My relationship with my partner has endured so many ups and down since becoming parents. Motherhood affected me so much that I let it affect my relationship, and not necessarily in the best way. Becoming parents will certainly affect any relationship and it’s important to understand that to be successful in making it through tough times is to to continue to grow together.
I specifically began to understand, most recently, that certain relationship behaviors have been the cause of many of my relationships downfalls. Behaviors like not listening to your partner and not letting their voice be of importance or of significance.
Not only did I let myself get lost in the midst of becoming a mother; I also let my relationship get lost in the shuffle. It became apparent to me that in order to achieve a happier relationship that many things needed to change.
Our relationship continues to grow and it grows in such a great and positive direction. I am thankful for any new found knowledge and continue to learn along the way in my journey of self growth and self love. It has led to a more connected relationship and a happier one, at that.
If I could take any piece of wisdom on motherhood, now that I’m in my late twenties, it would be that we don’t know it all and we can’t possibly try to act like we do.
We have to be more patient, we must listen to understand instead of listening to reply. As women and mothers, we have to remember to take time for ourselves and never lose sight of what matters to you most.
Many of us will experience motherhood differently. Some will become stronger from it, while others will struggle immensely. So much has changed now that I am in my late twenties and getting closer to 30. I am thankful for the struggles I went through; it’s what has shaped me into the woman I am today. I am hopeful that this will help a fellow mom struggling in her journey.
How has motherhood changed you throughout your twenties? Has motherhood had a profound impact on your self growth or relationships?