Mom Judgement: the never-ending hearsay about what you’re doing wrong as a mom. It creeps up when we least expect it. It encompasses our daily lives on social media and the internet. It’s hard to know to deal with mom judgement at times.
It’s the reason we have hard days and it’s the reason we constantly scrutinize ourselves, as mothers. Mom judgment is an idea that we, as mothers, should be one sort of way rather than another. Frankly, I am so done with it.
The idea that we get judged by others for doing something that is not to someone else’s standards is beyond reason. Why can’t we just be out here living our best lives, unbothered, unapologetically, and unscathed?
Is it so difficult for others to mind their business? Why do others feel obliged to offer their opinion, when they are far from perfect? These are just some of the questions I often find myself pondering.
In a society where women have frequently been oppressed, how is it that we are not more in support of one another? Up until recently, women were once in the shadow of man. Then as years went on, we gained more and more rights, equal rights.
While we most certainly still deal with inequality and sexism, we are still fighting to truly be seen as equals. With that being said, we should be on each others sides, am I right? Look, I know we are constantly comparing ourselves to the next person on social media.
Perhaps we see that mom that looks completely put together. Or we see a mom who’s house looks impeccable and she has 4 children…how the hell does she keep that house clean all the time? Our first thoughts go to what am I not doing right?
In reality, the real question should be, How can I be learn to be happy with what I have and also be grateful for what I have? Because, isn’t that what we all should strive for? Self-love and knowing ones self worth, too. Instead of comparing ourselves with others, why not take a look at what we do have, rather than what’s missing?
It’s a hard notion to take in, I know this all too well. I constantly wish I had this or that. I have recently tried my best to stop doing this.
The concept that we find ourselves going down a never ending rabbit hole of comparison, needs to stop here. This is where mom judgment comes in.
Who are we to judge others? Really though, who are you to go out of your way to say something judgmental about another woman – and no less, another mother?! If you are religious, then you know only God has the final judgment.
If you are non-religious, well it still isn’t right to judge others, because karma. Nevertheless, here are some ways on how to deal with mom judgement – because it will somehow creep on you when you least expect it!
How To Deal With Mom Judgement
Ignore the Judgment
It’s easy to say to yourself, I’m just going to ignore them, after hearing a hurtful comment about yourself. However, we often still feel the pain that a hurtful comment can cause. You may feel the pain, you may even cry, but you have to do your best at ignoring it.
Know that you are good enough and that no matter how crazy your life may seem, those little ones think you are the best momma in the whole world. Even on the days that seem hard and on the days your little one may be showing a ton of aggression towards you, they still love you with their whole heart.
I have to sometimes stop and tell myself that at the end of every crazy moment, my little one will often still tell me “I Love you mommy”. It’s beautiful in the sense that, even when she is mad that mom said no to something, she is basically telling me, I’m still mad but I love you nevertheless. She is 5 now and she is really turning into one amazing little human.
Allow yourself to feel the hurt
As I mentioned, you will most likely feel the pain a hateful comment causes. It’s important to let yourself feel that pain as a reminder to know what it feels like so that you know not to ever do that to someone else. Hate kills, kindness emanates the best in a person.
Remember that words do hurt, but you will thrive regardless. You are doing your best, and let me tell you, that means you are a great momma! No matter what anyone says about you.
If you have studied the art of forgiveness then you know the deep meaning behind it and how it can change your life. Yes, your life. It’s important to forgive others who do you harm so that you can come to peace with it.
Forgive those who say mean things about you or to you. When someone else judges you, they are a reflection of themselves and their own personal insecurities. Know your worth and learn to forgive others.
The peace you will feel will be immense. It’s not an easy road, forgiveness, but when you have a better understanding of it, it becomes easier with time.
Mom judgement is all around us. It’s on social media, it’s in your friends conversations, and it even comes from our own parents(unintentionally). It’s something that evolves as we become mothers and as we make decisions for our children.
At the end of the day, the decision that you make, be it a good one or bad one, is your decision to make. Will we make mistakes as parents? Yes. Will we learn from them? Absolutely!
We will always rise above and we will do so with self-worth and dignity. As mothers, we all go through the same struggles. Whether you’re rich or poor, blue or yellow, we will all face the same trials and tribulations at some point in our lives.
Let us all remember, as mothers and as women, to be kind to one another and to lift each other up! If you have other tips for how to deal with mom judgement, let us know in the comments below.