Overcoming the Fear of Not Being Maternal Enough

One of the most common fears pregnant woman experience is the fear of not being maternal enough. You’ll have moments where you feel like you got this. Then you’ll have your moments where your third trimester insomnia has your mind going through every horrible scenario that could even happen.

Over and over again, you’ll ask yourself: Will I be a good mother? How will I know what her cries mean? Will I make enough money to provide the best life for my child? It’s endless.

I’m 33 weeks pregnant, well into my third trimester with just a month and a half until my due date, and I am freaking out. I hardly sleep at night, mainly because I can’t get into a comfortable position and because something is always hurting on my body. But with insomnia, comes a busy brain. You lay awake at night thinking of all the fun stuff, the positive things to look forward to, and then come all the questions that you ask yourself. My boyfriend tells me I need to figure out a way to calm my mind, but it’s easier said than done.

I’m confident that I will have that natural maternal gene. I already feel like I do. But I guess those nagging questions/concerns/worries are what keep me up at night questioning my own confidence in being maternal enough. What a conundrum, right?

Pregnancy brain is a real thing, and so is the whirlwind of hormones. And then there is our childbirth preparation class that we started a couple of weeks ago. In a recent class, we saw a video of a couple go through the entire laboring process, from home to the hospital. It was frightening, scary, magical, and overwhelming. There were definitely a few moms who were tearing up by the end of the video, including myself, full of positive emotion.

Overcoming it isn’t easy, and I’ve realized that. But here are some methods that have helped me so far:

Remember, it’s mind over matter.

It really is. Our teacher for our childbirth class told us: you’ll come into this class scared of the unknown, but you’ll leave feeling a whole lot better.

Sometimes you just need to tell your mind that you can do this. Women have been doing it since the beginning of time. Assure yourself that if they did it, you can do it too.

Educate yourself.

Whether it’s at the hospital you’re delivering at or wherever your city offers the free classes, there are so many great classes to take while your pregnant. They have it all. They have breastfeeding classes, teen pregnancy prep classes, childbirth preparation classes, classes for twins, healthy pregnancy classes.

Then of course there are the baby apps on your phone and the Internet to turn to. Educate yourself on the basic things you need to know. Don’t over do it though, because the Internet can make you go crazy!

Know that you will always be more than enough.

Simply because we are superwomen! At the end of the day, all our maternal fears will likely vanish the moment the doctor puts our baby in our arms. Sure you’ll still have some fears, but that maternal instinct will kick in, if it hasn’t already, the moment your baby comes into this world.

Sure we aren’t perfect, we’ll make mistakes along the way, but when you fall you get back up. It’s a learning process. You may have your parenting style all planned out, or you may not know what your parenting style will be yet — but either way, it will all work out.

We just have to remember to not let our doubts overtake us. The fear of not being maternal enough is very real, but we can and will overcome it. It’s mind over matter, educating yourself, and knowing that you will be more than enough.

We are mothers the moment we find out we are pregnant. So don’t fear it. Overcome your fear by praising yourself for all the great that you will do for your child. Overcome your fear by knowing that you will be bringing life into this world, nurturing it, and giving that life all they need to do great things in their lives. We can do this ladies.

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