If you are like me, you probably spend a lot of time caring about what other people think about you. It's toxic and unfair, and I decided enough was enough.

If you are like me, you probably spend a lot of time caring about what other people think about you.

You worry about the clothes you wear, the style of your hair, the way you talk and act, and the things you like. For some reason all these things and more are evaluated around others opinions. Sometimes, I would lose sleep over what people thought of me.

That is when I asked myself why I was so focused on what other people thought about me and not focused on what I thought about me?

The truth was I really didn’t think that much of myself. Though I may have appeared to have it all together and be confident in who I was, that was the furthest thing from the truth. The truth was I was very insecure.

Part of that insecurity came from being young and not knowing any better, and part of it was just not believing in myself and lacking confidence in who I was as a person.

The person I was at 20 years old versus 30 years old are two very different people. Now after a decade of coming to terms with who I am, I can honestly say I love myself. And I want that for you, too.

If this sounds like you then listen up. Here are three ways to over come the fear of what others think so you can truly be happy with yourself.

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1. Believe in yourself.

As I mentioned above I didn’t really believe in myself. Once I finally started believing in who I was and who I wanted to be everything started to change.

But you can’t just starting believing in yourself. You have to start out slow and build yourself up.

Some ways you could do this are by setting goals you know you can accomplish. Work on establishing your personal principles and values, and pay attention to your thoughts and the power of self-judgement.

You can tell yourself you believe in you or even by believing the compliments people give you, but those methods aren’t always the most effective. If you are like me, you cannot take a compliment and often think people are lying to you when they give you one. Don’t fall into the trap of needing other peoples’ validation.

2. Own it.

If you want to dress a certain way, live your life a certain way, act a certain way, then own it. You need to live up to the person you put out there. You do this by accepting who you are.

If that person is someone who loves sci-fi and bookstores while rocking purple hair, then do it.

If you are a cook, mom, wife, then own that.

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Once you accept you for all that you are then it really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you. As long as you live up to your expectations then what others expect from you really does not matter in the end.

3. Who cares F%@k cares!

This is something I tell myself almost daily. Take dating for instance; if I am on a date and the guy isn’t into me, does it really matter at the end of the day? Nope.

Say you meet a new group of people and you are worried about if they like you. Stop worrying! If they do then great, and if they don’t? Your life will keep moving forward anyway. Letting a stranger validate you is no way to live.

There are so many other things to worry about in life. What others think of me is not how I choose to spend my time. I choose to spend my time worrying about things that actually affect me.


Next time you find yourself worrying about what someone thinks of you, remember they are not worrying about you. As you grow into your twenties you will find this easier and easier to do.

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So why not start now? Live life for you and no one else. You are the only person who is allowed to judge you!