Maintaining healthy relationships with family, friends, and significant others is a challenging task many twenty-somethings face. We’re in that phase of life where we are all trying to figure ourselves out. We’re balancing what we want with what we need, and in times of growth and self-discovery we may find that the people in our lives no longer add value to the path we choose for ourselves.
It can prove to be difficult to come to terms with knowing that someone (or maybe multiple people) is unfit to keep in our lives. It’s incredibly hard to end a friendship, romantic relationship, or cut ties with a relative, because these are the people we often love most.
So, why do we need to evaluate these relationships? Well, sometimes the people closest to us become toxic.
The pressure to fit in, give up, and make choices based on the opinions of others may impact how we live. Similarly, we may be blindly sacrificing what we want most just to please someone else. Knowing this, it’s important to assess the negative relationships in our lives.
Here are five core reasons you may need to cut ties with others and focus on yourself in your twenties:
- They are negative influences. Ever experience certain people who only offer pessimistic attitudes? You know, the ones who always have a problem or vent nonstop when you hangout. Yes, that’s what we’re talking about here.
The negative influences in your life have to go! These are the people who will only bring you down. They crush your dreams, make you second guess yourself, and ultimately bring more unhappiness to your life than anything else.If seeing people like this is a chore for you, it’s time to cut ties and eliminate that negativity now. You deserve nothing but positive energy!
- They aren’t supportive. Do you find yourself dreaming big with passionate goals in life? If you’re like many twenty-somethings out there, you probably do. Having goals is important and the passion you have inside of you will only drive you to chase those goals and achieve them. It can be difficult, though, when the people closest to you don’t reflect the support you need. If you have a parent, sibling, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or partner who can’t bring themselves to offer the support you so need and deserve, it may be time to cut ties and move on.
Easier said than done, yes. But, it’s critical you end that toxic relationship fast. You’ll never reach your goals in life if you lack the foundational support at home. You need to be backed by the people who believe in you; not the ones who wait to watch you fail. Reassess any relationship that doesn’t offer the support you need and deserve.
- They take more than they give. Have you ever had a friend, romantic relationship, or relative who took more than they gave? Most of us have been there. We know how it feels to be used by others, giving as much as we can and receiving nothing in return.
Whether it’s borrowing money, lending emotions, or simply being there to talk sometimes we find ourselves completely spent and burnt out from being used by others. If this describes you in a nutshell, it’s time to cut ties.Unfortunately, most people never change. If you’re being used by the same person time and time again, it’s cyclic. That is to say, it’s never going to end. You can’t give, give, give and never receive. Not everything needs to be balanced 100% of the time, but it should be as fair as can be. If you find yourself stuck in a rut like this, please reassess the relationships that drain you of all you have. It’s not healthy and you deserve better.
- They diminish your self-worth. Bullies often like to make their victims feel small, unfit, and sub-par. These are the perpetrators of stereotypes and unrealistic standards that make your worth slowly crumple into thin air. You don’t need any relationship that is as toxic as this.
Whether it’s a parent harping on your weight, a significant other judging your looks, a friend questioning your career path, or a sibling breaking your confidence, end it. These people, no matter how important to you they once were, are doing nothing but bullying you.Never let anyone diminish your self-worth. The worst thing you can do is allow this dialogue to fester, because soon enough you’ll believe the claims they make. Your appearance, intelligence, and overall personality need to be maintained according to your standards; not anyone else’s. Be sure the people closest to you empower you, not bring you down.
- They take you for granted. Unfortunately, some people don’t know what they have until it’s gone. If your friend, significant other, or a relative completely lacks the ability to see how wonderful you are, it’s probably time to drop them.
Being taken for granted is incredibly difficult to cope with, and you shouldn’t even begin to try. No one (seriously, no one) is that important that you should allow them to take you for granted for even one second. If they can’t recognize the valuable friendship, love, or support you offer, end it. Someone else far better and more worthy of your attention will.Life is so short, so why waste time on the people who can’t even see how good they have it? Cutting ties with people like this will improve your confidence and ultimately open you up to the prospect of starting new relationships with others; ones who couldn’t ever imagine taking you for granted.
Cutting ties with the people closest to us is certainly no simple feat. It’s a challenge to recognize the toxic relationships in our lives and to come to the decision to end them. Whether it’s a lifelong friend, a serious relationship with a significant other, or a relative we’ve known since birth, sometimes ending these deep relationships can end up being the best thing for us.
Never keep someone around just because of your history. Though it may hurt to say goodbye, it may be exactly what you both really need to be happier apart.
Have you ever cut ties with someone close to you?
How did you decide it was time to end that relationship?
Share in the comments below!
About the Author
Rachael is a University of Southern Maine graduate with a Bachelor of Arts in Communication and a minor in Sociology. She remotely works full-time as a Senior Content Marketing Specialist for Champlain College in Burlington, Vermont. In her leisure time, Rachael enjoys traveling with her husband, finding the next Netflix series to binge, and taking too many photos of her dogs Jax and Kai. Rachael is obsessed with chapstick, favors the Oxford comma, and is a proud Mainer. You'll likely find her exploring New England + beyond.