The stigma of needing a sibling for your only child is long gone. The notion that we as mothers, as parents need to provide an additional sibling for our only child, is flat out ridiculous. I am happy with only one child.
Why I’m Happy With Only One Child
As a parent, I respect other parents’ feelings on the matter; that is exactly what should be reciprocated by society as a whole to parents. In other words, mind your damn business.
Who are we to tell others how they should live their life or what they should do with it? I mean, let’s get real. How would you like someone telling you what you should or shouldn’t do? You wouldn’t.
As a mom to an only child, and will likely remain that way, I can tell you I have heard the unwanted opinion of others for far too long. Family and friends have asked me, many times, if we will have a sibling for my daughter.
The answer is always the same. We will see what happens. To which I usually get the response: Well she should really have a sibling or children need a sibling or else they will be spoiled.
And also things like, don’t wait too long to decide, you should have them close together. Look, here’s the thing.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the advice and/or concern. It’s just that, if I’m not asking for your opinion, well sometimes we just don’t want to hear it. That’s the blunt truth of it.
I always thought I would have at least two kids. I always said I wanted a boy and a girl. To be honest, before I knew anything at all, I even thought I wanted a boy for my first child.
Not that we have a choice, but that was my initial preference. Well fast forward to when I had my daughter–yes that’s right, I did not have a boy–I was so happy! I would have been happy either way but now that I have my daughter, I simply cannot fathom a life without her.
I also am now kind of scared to have a boy. It’s funny how much that has changed. Also, for a variety of reasons and circumstances we have pretty much decided we are only have one child. Although nothing is set in stone, I can’t really see myself having another.
I know what you’re thinking, I know what everyone might be thinking. I’m perfectly ok with others not understanding. Just like I am perfectly ok when someone decides they want to have like 10 kids.
You do you. I’ll do me. We are all happy.
But seriously, we as parents, and more specifically as women, should have every single right to choose how we do things. Without explanation and without judgment.
It’s so easy to judge someone else when you have no idea what their reasons may be. But also, no one owes you that explanation, family or not!
Then there is the issue of my daughter asking for a sibling. That, I will admit, has been hard. She is 5 and will ask us from time to time if we are going to give her a sibling.
I always tell her we will see. I do think siblings are great. But we don’t see how we could have another baby and make everything work.
If it was easy and if I didn’t work, I would do it in a heartbeat. But the reality is this. My fiancé and I both work full time jobs, and daycare was hard to come by when Olivia was a baby.
I had and still do have a really hard time with anxiety. Specifically post-partum anxiety. We, of course, put life on hold when we had our daughter. And it took a tole on each of us and our relationship. So you see, you really have no idea what others are going through.
We are now at a place where our daughter is in school full time, we have the amazing help of my mom before before/after school, and we are finally getting our lives back on track. It feels amazing! To be able to each do the hobbies we love again, to be able to give our daughter everything and anything she needs without worry.
To be able to go to places like Disneyland or take a vacation without financial worry is a huge accomplishment for us. We are fortunate. Very fortunate.
Are we rich? Heck no. But we have balance, and a healthy savings set up. We have our sanity back, we are regaining our health back. So many factors that were result of us deciding to only have one child.
At times I do get sad to think we aren’t having any more kids. But, I have the utmost appreciation for our lives and everything that got us to the point we are at now. So don’t judge others who have only one child and decide not to have any more.
One other very important thing to note here is, it’s possible the reason may not even be their choice. If they struggle with infertility, that could be the reason as well. Be kind to your family and friends. We know you mean well, but also, be mindful and respectful of others’ decisions.
Having only one child comes with many blessings as well. I’m happy with only one child. There is always a positive and a bright side to any circumstance, you just have to find it.