Has there ever been a time in your life where you maybe didn’t feel so confident? Or maybe you are an overall confident person but you have found yourself in a slump from time to time? Both perfectly normal and perfectly okay, too! What’s important is knowing that you are working on yourself and on a self-care journey to figuring out how to be your best self.
But sometimes we need to fake it to make it. Hear me out. If you are already a pretty confident person then more power to you and your badass self! On the other hand, if you struggle with finding your confidence then you are in the right place! Being confident can be both easy and difficult. Sometimes you have to reach deep within yourself and rely on some handy tools to improve your inner confidence and so it shows on the outside too.
I personally struggle with this as well. Even if deep down I know I’m capable of something, my confidence still wavers from time to time. There are other times when I feel not-so-confident that I find myself really having to fake it. And honestly the good news is that we all have a little bit of an awkward person inside of us. It makes us that much more relatable!
There comes a time where you just need to fake that confidence in order to exude that you are a confident person. It’s also hard these days with social media making us compare our everyday lives to other people’s highlight reels. People aren’t born with true confidence, they work hard at it every single day.
The truth is, confident people inspire confidence in others and that is a contagious feeling.
In most situations, it ends up paying off. In hindsight, we have all faked being confident at some point in our lives, even unknowingly. Let’s face it, we have all encountered a situation that makes us nervous or shy. Wouldn’t it be great to know how to deal with those situations and/or mask our nervousness?
Fake confidence is about the way you present yourself and the way you carry yourself. The lack of confidence can really hinder our personal growth and our career opportunities, even if we are well qualified. Use these tips to get out of your comfort zone, start feeling comfortable in new situations, to work through negative thoughts, make a good impression, fight low self-esteem, have positive thoughts, have open body language, and live in the power of your own abilities. You got this.
15 Ways To Fake Being Confident
1. Walk in with power.
The first thing we’re going to talk about is open body language. This is about standing up straight, shoulders back, and walking in like no one is watching you when making an entrance anywhere. A real power pose screams real confidence.
Basically when you make a confident entrance, wherever you may be, your chances are much higher that you will come off as a confident person. You may attract more people and also, you may come off as a person who knows exactly what she is here for.
2. Make consistent eye contact.
This is literally one of the hardest things for me to do. I tend to look somewhere else when talking to people or look down and will just make a quick eye to eye with another person. But making direct and consistent eye contact shows confidence and assertiveness.
A lot of people really struggle with this. In essence, when someone looks you in the eye it’s more of a sign of respect and you know they are listening to you. The first step is practicing with yourself in the mirror and then moving on to a trusted friend. Good eye contact can be uncomfortable. It feels very vulnerable but it is a powerful way to show confidence. Nervous people don’t make good eye contact, and that undermines their confidence.
3. Don’t be afraid to speak highly about yourself.
Without sounding too cocky, highlight your own competence and exude it to others. Show others just what you are made of and how you can get things done by highlighting your greatest asset.
Don’t be afraid to show off a little, but be careful not to come off as too conceited. You don’t want to send the wrong message. Just go show the world what a badass you are! This will also help get those feel-good hormones flowing!
4. When possible, be optimistic.
I have a friend who constantly see’s the bright side or the positive in almost every situation. At times it can be overwhelming, but I secretly envy her confidence.
5. Put on your Sunday best.
Putting on that cute dress or a fresh new outfit can make all the difference. For instance, when you go to an interview, you dress up for the position to show you are serious right? Well, the same goes for any other situation.
Whether it’s work related or going on a first date or making a presentation; you want to look confident. Do your hair in a different way, add some more make-up, dress a little fancier and you are sure to get a few head turns and positive reactions.
6. Lose the RBF.
As a woman, I know I speak for many other women when I say, we can’t stand when someone tells us to smile. However, it is a well known fact that any person is more approachable with a smile.
So yeah, lose the RBF(resting bitch face) and put on your best smile. I promise you, you will thank me later when you see how much more approachable you are, and then in turn, how much more you exude confidence.
7. Don’t fidget – relax your hands.
This is a great way to look less nervous in a meeting or during a representation. You ever see someone across a conference room table needing to always have something in their hand. Maybe it’s a pen or a notepad or they are holding their glass of water the entire time. That is just another way to mask nervousness. And I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it’s completely obvious.
Relax your hands, or simply lay them in your lap. Don’t clench them or spend a lot of time fidgeting.
8. Remember to breath.
I often notice I get out of breath when I speak and I am simultaneously nervous. Has this ever happened to you and you think to yourself, why the heck am I out of breath? Well, it’s because you are nervous and your heart rate is up! Take a few deep breaths and remember to continue to breath!
Our confidence levels ebb and flow but breathing steadily can help you! Think of the confident body language of a your role model. What about them says “confidence”? Use those techniques too.
9. Speak up.
Project your voice rather than mumble or speaking softly. I once had a boss who spoke on the softer side but spoke so clearly and projected herself in just the right tone. I always felt a confidence coming from her because of how she spoke to others. Mumbling or being soft spoken can come across as shy or nervous, and that won’t leave you looking very confident at all.
10. Act like you are the most qualified person.
Even if you aren’t! I once asked for a raise and I presented myself as overly qualified with examples to back it all up. Some of it was dramatized but guess what, I got the raise. I acted like I was more qualified than I was and presented to that boss exactly why I was. It worked and it demonstrated how confident I was in myself and in the position that I held at the time.
11. Jot down affirmations.
This is more of an uplifting exercise to in turn make you feel more confident. Jot down positive affirmations about yourself and go through them. Or talk to a friend about what you’re struggling with and that will likely make you feel better about yourself and allowing yourself to be more confident.
12. Imitate a confident person you know of.
Do you have a family figure who is confident or maybe a friend who knows how to be confident? Imitate their actions and their mannerisms. Maybe study how your CEO projects her/himself and try to do the same. They are a CEO for good reason. It’s ok to copy traits of others who are more confident than you, that’s how we learn.
This is one of those cool things you can use in places like a high-stakes job interview. For example, what would Steve Jobs do? How would Jen Sincero act? Confidently. It’s like a magic trick!
13. Remove key words from your vocabulary.
Things like “just”, “um”, “uh”, and “like” can make you seem unsure of yourself. These are filler words that lower the power of our speech. You might have to make a conscious effort to do this but it’s worth the effort.
Speaking confidently means using bigger words and more direct sentences. I often use “just” in emails at work and I have tried my best not to do so. It comes off as trying to be persuasive and less sure of oneself. When in doubt, rule these out.
14. Ask question when you are unsure how to respond.
When I am in conversation in a social situation, I will often ask questions in place of giving simply replies. It indicates that I am showing interest in the other person’s topic and also indicates that I am curious to hear more.
If you ever reply with “I see”, “Very cool”, or “That’s awesome”, it can come off as not being interested or just not caring enough to give a more valuable response. Asking a question is a great way to carry on a conversation while also showing your interest, which in turn makes you look like a more confident person. It also turns the end of sentences into a conversation. Plus, people love to talk about themselves! So they’ll remember how interested in them you were.
15. Accept compliments.
Instead of rejecting them! This simple reaction to a compliment can make you seem way more confident than you feel. It can be hard to do this with low-self esteem but it gets easier with practice. Even if you are a self-conscious person (hey, it’s okay – me too) accepting compliments can help rewrite your internal dialogue.
Just think about when you give someone else a confident, wouldn’t you want to hear a “thank you” rather than a “as if”. So next time, someone offers you a compliment, say thank you and smile. You will appear so confident!
When in doubt, fake it until you make it. Be confident, and when you feel like you can’t be, just follow these tips above to feel more confident. Confidence is a state of mind and being confident in your own skin takes practice. With these ways to fake being confident, you’ll get there even if you have low confidence now, small changes can have a big impact.