“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Everybody struggles with their confidence levels from time to time. We each have our own unique set of anxieties and insecurities. It doesn’t matter how attractive or unattractive we are, where we went to school or how much money we have in the bank. Everyone has something that makes them feel stressed, unsure of themselves, and generally uncomfortable. Whether this is something you notice or not, it’s worthwhile to build up the habit to encourage others to be confident.
The best thing we as human beings can do for each other is help someone else build up their own confidence. Sometimes all a person needs in order to feel more confident is to know that someone else has confidence in them.
Whether it’s a friend, relative, significant other, coworker, or even mere acquaintance, even the smallest of gestures can do wonders to improve another person’s confidence levels.
Here are 3 ways to encourage others to be confident:
1. Celebrate their wins.
Even the smallest ones. Make a point to celebrate every victory with someone. Your friend aced a test, rocked a term paper, or made a killer presentation at work? Tell them how awesome you think that is. Vocalize the factors that led to their successes and helped them get their win. If it was a long road to victory, make sure they know that it was their hard work that paid off. This will help them feel more confident going into future, similar situations in the future.
Make a point to say things like: “Congratulations on nailing that presentation! You worked really hard on it and it paid off. That’s awesome and I’m really proud of you. Now let’s go celebrate!”
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2. Compliment them often.
Now, I’m not talking about insincere compliments or small forms of flattery. As with the first situation I mentioned, it’s important to make sure you are freely and openly complimenting people as often as possible on the things they are doing well.
If you know someone who you think is a great writer, make sure they know how much you like their writing. People tend to be highly critical of themselves, way more than others are of them in comparison, so it’s important to express appreciation and admiration for what they are doing.
Make a point to say things like: “I just read that thing you posted. It was so well written! You have such a talent for this kind of thing. Keep up the awesome work!”
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3. Listen to learn.
This one is perhaps the most important of the three ways to encourage others to be more confident. If someone shares a personal story, anecdote, or secret with you about something they feel confident or insecure about, take the time to actively listen: affirm what you hear and ask questions to get a complete understanding of the situation.
Know that someone may tell you something that may not seem like a huge deal to you, but it could be that person’s entire world. Their insecurities and anxieties may be creeping in and causing a lack of confidence. The rationale behind what they are thinking or feeling could very well be driven by deep-seated fears and in some cases, depression.
Only once you begin to understand the root cause of the issue can you begin to address their concerns with a deeper, more enlightened understanding. And only then will you be able to offer better advice and begin to instill a greater confidence in them.
Make a point to say things like: “I know you’re feeling nervous about this presentation because public speaking makes you feel anxious, and because you’re afraid you will make a mistake in front of your peers. Just know that we all feel super nervous about presenting, and if you do make a mistake, I’ll be there to support you. I don’t think that will be an issue, though, because you’ve done all you can do to prepare, and I’m confident that you’re going to rock it tomorrow!”
[Tweet “To encourage confidence, avoid down-talking someone’s fears or insecurities. Simply listen.”]
How Can You Tell Somebody To Be Confident and Love Themselves?
As I said before, there are so many ways to encourage others and instill confidence in them. And these three ways just barely scratch the surface. As long as you are mindful of the people you encounter, taking the time to openly honor and appreciate them. Listen for the root cause of their problems and stressors, you’ll find it easy to fall right into the habit.
It requires very little effort in your part. Even the smallest gestures can go a long way to make someone’s day or pull them out of a bad mood or deep funk.
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Tell me, what steps do you take to actively encourage others to be more confident? What do others do to make you feel more confident when the situation is reversed? Tell me in the comment section below!