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How To Appreciate Your Time as a Single Lady

If I hear "but why are you single?!" one more time... I might lose it. Being single is not a bad thing.


For so many people that word has a negative connotation.

“Why are you still single?” This is my LEAST favorite question. Instead of viewing singleness as a sickness or something that we have to change, we should focus on enjoying and appreciating this time.

I think this time is crucial. I have learned so much about myself and what I want over the past few years of being single. I’ve come to realize that I need cherish this time as a single lady, just as I will one day cherish my relationship; and I know I will appreciate it more once I am in a relationship.

I know it’s easy to rush into another relationship because you don’t want to be alone, but being single and having time to deal with your past relationships AND figure out what you really want/need is important. It is a time to focus on personal development and the relationships you have with the people already around you.

Here are some of my favorite things about being single:

  • Freedom: I have flexibility and the ability to do whatever I want. If you want to spend all day on the couch watching Netflix, you can do that. If you want to take a new job in a new city, you can do it. That freedom can be exciting.
  • You can be a social butterfly: I am an introvert, but I do love going out with friends. I can do that but with as many different groups as I want. I can enjoy being a 26 year old who likes to go out and dance with friends.
  • Time for personal development and community involvement: I am a bit of a nerd and love learning about leadership and professional development. I also like to work. I can use this time to work like crazy, get involved in as many organizations as I can mentally handle and focus on making myself and my community better.

What fun things should you do while you are single?

1. Explore the city you live in (or a surrounding city). I live in a great place that has a lot of things going on. So I am starting to explore the city more and try new things. Go out and explore your city or one that is close to you. Is there a city you have always wanted to go to but haven’t yet? Go and visit.

2. Make healthy living a priority. This one may sound boring, but the habits we create in our twenties will be the habits we have in our thirties and forties. While you have the time, focus on yourself and your health. This doesn’t mean you have to work out an hour a day or go on a diet, but begin to create healthy eating habits and decide what fitness will look like in your life.

3. Spend time alone. Figure out what you like and what you don’t like. Spend time alone and enjoy it. Whether you are single forever or get married next year, it is important that you enjoy spending time alone.

4. Find a hobby you love. Find something that you love doing. Maybe it’s hiking or reading, but find something you enjoy doing. Check out these lists of cool hobbies here, here, and here.

5. Spend time with friends. Focus on your friendships and having meaningful relationships. This is another one of those things that is important regardless of what your relationship status is long term.

6. Read some great quotes. I love Sex and the City–both the series and the movie. Thought Catalog put together 10 of the best quotes from either the series or movie about friendship and here are a few of my favorites:

 “Maybe we can be each other’s soulmates and then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.” – Carrie

“No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.” – Carrie

 “They say nothing lasts forever… dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.” – Carrie

“Friendships don’t magically last forty years… you have to invest in them.” – Carrie

7. Figure out what kind of relationship you want. Being in a relationship certainly has its benefits. Use your time as a single lady to go on dates and figure out what you like. When I transitioned my view on dating to finding out more about what kind of man I want to be with and what kind of relationship I want–instead of meeting ‘the one’–it took away the pressure I was putting on myself and allowed me to enjoy dating in a way that I didn’t before.

8. Read The Single Woman by Mandy Hale. Again, I like reading, but even if you don’t, you should read this book. The Single Woman, by Mandy Hale, is without question the best book I have read in a while. In The Single Woman, Mandy talks about the idea of celebrating singleness, as opposed to dreading the time. She talks about focusing on living your best life and enjoying every day. This book shifted my perspective on being single. Instead of this being a time of waiting, it should be a time of exploration and enjoyment. For the first time I was excited about being single, and I truly believe every single woman should read this book.

Some of my favorite chapters:

Alone but not Lonely
The Gift of Loneliness
Why Liking Yourself is just as Important as Loving Yourself
Change your Thoughts and your Life will Follow
Faith over Fear
The Art of Waiting

My fellow single ladies out there please embrace and appreciate this time and ignore any pressures that you are feeling to rush into a relationship. Love yourself and focus on being happy. We only have one life to live and my hope for all of you is that this is the best time of your life! What are your favorite things about being single? Let us know!

Related: Why It’s OK To Be Single In Your 20s

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About the Author

Jessica Sharp

Jessica Sharp is passionate about empowering underserved and minority communities, diverse representation, and brain education. Jessica is the Founder and Chief Educator of Sharp Brain Consulting which works with public service agencies to provide education about the brain and its effect on organizational outcomes. Additionally, she is on the leadership team of Meals on Wheels in her town of Greenville, SC. She is completing a Masters of Public Affairs from the University of Missouri. Upon her completion, she will attend William James College to obtain a Doctorate of Psychology. Follow her on twitter at @sharpjes.