What To Focus on When You Feel Behind in Life?

It's happened to all of us. We open up Instagram or LinkedIn for not even five minutes and somehow we're already questioning our entire life. It's moments like this when we feel behind in life.

We see that one friend just got engaged. Or, we see someone else our age bought a house. We see someone we graduated high school with just got a fantastic promotion at their job. Or maybe they landed their dream job, or moved abroad, or started their own business.

Meanwhile, what are we doing? Seeing all of that easily makes you feel like you have accomplished nothing by this point. It also has us second guessing everything.

Did we make the right career move? Why are we living paycheck to paycheck? How do I still not know what I actually want to do with my life? If all of this sounds familiar, you are not alone, despite how alone you may feel.

When You Feel Behind In Life, Don't. Because, You're Not

One of the biggest falsehoods of our twenties is that everyone is supposed to hit the same milestones at the same time. That isn't realistic! Life isn't a race, despite how much society and social media may make it feel like it is.

There really is no universal timeline for success, as everyone is on their own path. It's not about catching up with everyone else's milestones, it's about focusing on what actually moves you forward in life.

How can you do that? Here are the things you really should be focusing on when you feel like you're falling behind in life.

Stop comparing your everyday life to everyone else's highlight reel

Social media isn't real. It's not the whole picture. You're only seeing one small glimpse at someone's life, and most of the time, it's only the really good parts. Think about it - people are rarely posting about their debt, layoffs, breakup, loneliness, anxiety or rejection.

That person posting those glam vacation photos? They could be burnt out at work, struggling financially, in an unhappy relationship, unsure of the next step, or something else - and you'd have no idea. Comparing yourself to others is one of the fastest ways to convince yourself that you're failing.

Focus on progress, not milestones When Feeling Behind in Life

Life is not made up of giant accomplishments. It's actually made up of mostly small steps that get you to those accomplishments. Growth isn't flashy, which is why it gets overlooked.

But examples of this progress and growth include things like updating your resume, finally sticking to your budget, applying for jobs, going to therapy. It can be building healthier habits, saving your first emergency fund or learning new skills.

Chances are, you're already doing some, if not all, of these. Progress compounds over time. That's why you should celebrate and be proud of the "small" things, too!

Define success for yourself

A lot of times, people chase goals they never actually chose for themselves. Instead, they chase goals set in place by society, who define success as marriage, six-figure salaries, homeownership, promotions, fancy apartments and luxury travel.

But is that really what success means to you? It could be things like good health, time with family, financial stability, peace of mind, flexible work, or creative freedom.

Ask yourself the question "if nobody else could see your life, what would success look like?" The answer may just surprise you.

Invest in skills that future you will thank you for

You do not have to have your whole life figured out in your twenties. What you do need to do, though, is to keep growing. That's why it's important to invest in the skills that future you will thank you for. Leave that sense of feeling behind in life, well, behind you and move onto something better.

These could be career skills like AI literacy, leadership, public speaking, communication, negotiation or project management. They could also be life skills like time management, budgeting, emotional intelligence and cooking. Skills create opportunities, which is why it's important to invest in yourself.

Build financial habits instead of chasing lifestyle upgrades

Despite most people thinking they are synonymous, looking successful and becoming financially secure are two very different things. Building financial habits is the goal you want to focus on.

Why? Because lots of people who come off as "ahead' because of their lifestyle upgrades are actually carrying significant debt. Focus on paying off your debt, investing, your emergency savings, retirement contributions and living below your means. All of that will set you up nicely and your future self will thank you.

Focus on relationships that actually matter When You Feel Behind in Life

Do not isolate yourself. You may not think that you are, but when people feel behind, they often isolate themselves. If you are feeling behind, prioritize friends who support you, family, mentors, romantic relationships that are healthy and professional connections.

Reach out to people rather than pull away. Strong relationships will improve your happiness far more than any external achievements will.

Take care of your mental and physical health

If you are constantly running on empty, it will be hard to build a life you love. Prioritize your sleep, nutrition, exercise, therapy, and stress management.

Take breaks at work and spend as much time outside as you can. Productivity starts with taking care of yourself.

Stop waiting until you have everything figured out if You Feel Behind In Life

Nobody has life completely figured out - remember that. Even the most successful people are still learning. This is why you should always start before you are ready, because you never really will be ready.

Apply for that job. Take that class. Move cities. Start that side hustle. Go to the networking event. Travel solo. Clarity does not usually come before you take the action - it comes after you do.

Celebrate what you have already accomplished

We get so focused on what's next that we forget about how far we have already come. Take a step back and reflect. Write down five things that you are proud of, three challenges you've overcome and one thing your younger self would be amazed that you did.

Gratitude keeps ambition healthy and keeps you in a positive mindset. Two things that will help you continue to move forward in life.

Final Thoughts on What's Important When You Feel Behind in Life

The sense of feeling behind in life will always be an easy mood to pick up. Choose to remind yourself that there are things that deserve your energy and time more. Refocus yourself on the parts of your life that are actually special.

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