Major life changes happen to everyone, from breakups to death. So, there isn’t usually anything you can do about these, except use them as a learning experience. But if you are currently doubting yourself and the decisions you have made, you aren’t alone. From people leaving your life to experiencing discomfort, here are some of the things that no one really tells you about.
Positive Change Can Feel Like Grief
There are things that can leave a hole in your heart and feel like nothing you ever expected, even when the change is positive.
For example, you may have left a toxic relationship that was becoming abusive. However, it is normal to feel the grief of the breakup, no matter how bad it was. Then there are children. It is the mark of a good parent to put the kids first, and even after mediation with custody lawyers, it can be a hard, but better decision for your ex to take them.
It takes time to adjust to change whether it is positive or negative. With any change, you are leaving a version of yourself and your life behind.
Some People Will Leave Your Life
Social circles are far more dynamic than we like to think, and they do shift and change all the time. People will leave your life after a major incident in life, through no fault of your own. That’s just how it is.
For example, there can often be a single person who’s the glue of the family, and friends and family can become distant memories after that person departs. This is also common after a breakup or divorce, where people who were once close to you can simply fade away.
Major Life Changes Can Feel Like Failure
Major life shifts can cause you to feel like you have failed, but the opposite is usually true. Maybe the relationship wasn’t right from the start, or in case of death, it wasn’t your fault. Even so, feeling like a failure after something like a divorce is common, with a 50% rate.
However, it is a common belief that failure is a good thing anyway; it is quitting that isn’t! Everything that happens in life can be considered a learning experience, and you will always bounce back.
Discomfort is Necessary to Move On
You are only human, and you will feel a wide range of emotions when something major happens in your life. Anxiety, anger, and fear are normal and are your way of letting you know you still care about the situation. These can also be extremely strong to the point of engaging in destructive behavior, and are unavoidable. It is during this time that you need to recognize that some feelings are involuntary, but they will also pass, and self-care becomes a priority.
You Will Definitely Question Yourself
Thinking about something that changed your life, did you question yourself? Well done, you’re normal! Even when you had no control over a situation, it is normal to doubt yourself and question where you went wrong. This can lead to a small identity crisis, but it also forces you to confront who you are now, and this isn’t a bad thing. The positive outcome of this is that you can make mental shifts that have great value, such as rising to the occasion of becoming a parent.
Final Thoughts
The fact that you can feel immense grief, even after a positive change, is one of the things that no one tells you about major life changes, such as leaving a toxic relationship. You may also feel like a failure, and you will question yourself, but it can help you become a better person.