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How To Let Go Of Toxic Relationships

How To Let Go Of Toxic Relationships

Whether it be a romantic relationship, a professional relationship, a family relationship, or a friendship, a relationship can be toxic. And sometimes, we do not always realize that they are toxic. On top of that, to let go of toxic relationships isn’t the easiest thing to do.

Our friends may warn us, but we are in denial and we shrug it off. It is not always easy to leave these types of relationships. Especially when the person has been in your life for an extended period of time. We have a habit of forgetting about all of the bad things and solely remembering the good, which in turn, makes it even harder to let go.

But, we have to let go. There is no reason for us to be harboring toxic relationships in our life. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

It all just isn’t healthy. It’s  not healthy for either one of you in the situation. I would also bet money that this toxic relationship is also negatively affecting other aspects of your life as well. And that’s just not good.

Letting go of toxic relationships is much easier said than done (as is most things in life). But it can be done, and it has to be done.

How To Let Go Of Toxic Relationships

1. Surround yourself with good people. 

Your friends are your friends for a reason. They want what is best for you. Surround yourself with them; there is no reason for you to be trying to do this on your own.

In most cases, your friends likely realized how toxic this person was for you – they probably saw it before you did, because they only want what’s best for you. Lean on them. Have them remind you of why you need to let go of this relationship, and why it is okay to.

When you’re feeling weak and like you want to go back to that person, reach out to them. Text them instead of the person you were going to text. Additionally, surrounding yourself with good people will remind you of the way that you should be treated, and will remind you of how to have good relationships.

2. Remember the bad times.

It is so easy to get caught up in the good memories. In fact, it is too easy too. It seems as though we only want to remember the good times and just forget all of the bad. But you can’t do this, because it’ll cause you to think that the relationship was not as toxic as it actually was.

In order to let go of toxic relationships, force yourself to remember the bad. Anytime a good memory pops into your head, think about the fight that happened right after that. Think of all of the anger and hurt you felt. Think of all the name-calling, the screaming, the yelling, – the toxicity.

Remind yourself that no matter how good the good was, it was not worth the bad.

3. Know your worth.

You. Are. Better. Than. Toxicity. Say it again and keep on repeating it to yourself – “I am better than toxicity. I don’t deserve toxicity. I am too old for this sh*t.” Don’t knock it – sometimes, talking to yourself works.

We already have enough stress to deal with in our daily lives that is out of our control. You do not need the stress of a toxic relationship too. Reminding yourself of all of these things will help keep you on track to letting go.

4. Think about what you would be telling your friend in this situation.

This one is my favorite. I would spill advice all of the time to my friends… and then take none of my own advice. Like, what?!

Because of it, I started thinking of things not in terms of myself, but in terms of my friends. I would ask myself, “If this were one of my friends in this situation right now, what would I be telling them?” I then would take that advice and follow through on it. If I’m telling someone else to do something, all while looking out for their best interest, of course I should be following it myself!

[Tweet “Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend: with kindness, respect, and a healthy dose of reality.”]

5. Get away.

The best way to remove yourself from a tricky situation is to get away from it entirely. If you have the means, take a road trip or book that long overdue vacation.

Put yourself in a place for a bit where you are leaving real life behind and truly escaping. This way, you won’t be tempted to contact anyone, least alone the toxic relationship you are trying to move past.

Surround yourself with new sights, new people, and hey, great food and drinks never hurt either! Treating yourself to a little rest and relaxation can work wonders in helping you regain your perspective and helping let go.

It Is Possible To Let Go Of Toxic Relationships

Again, all of this is easier said than done, I know. But it is possible. The above are just some suggestions, but everyone has their own reference as to what helps them.

It’s important to remember though that everyone deals with toxic relationships in their life – regardless of what type of relationship that is. And we can all get through it, and move on from that relationship.

Why do we need even more negativity in our lives? We don’t! And that’s an important thing to remember.

About the Author

Michelle Ioannou

Michelle graduated from Fordham University with a Bachelors of Arts '13 and a Master of Arts '14. She's currently working in corporate America with a side of freelance writing. She wants you to learn from her experiences and mistakes so your 20s can be your best decade. When she's not working, she's likely planning her escape to a tropical island.