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You Don’t Have To Say Yes To Every Event You’re Invited To

Being in your 20s and 30s means there are a lot of events. From engagement parties to bridal showers to bachelorette parties to weddings to housewarmings to gender reveals to baptisms and birthday parties, everything is a celebration!

Of course it’s so, so fun to celebrate the good. You’d want it too, when it’s your turn. But if you’re like me and this year is especially nonstop when it comes to events, it feels impossible — no, it is impossible — to attend everyone.

Everyone who put off their wedding or event during the pandemic, or had a baby/got pregnant during the pandemic, is using this current safer time to celebrate their event. And that’s great! But it’s OK if it’s too much for you. It’s OK to say no to same event.

Sure it’s not easy to miss event, whether it’s because you don’t want to hurt feelings or you don’t want to have FOMO yourself, but know that you don’t have to say yes to every event you’re invited to.

You Don’t Have To Say Yes To Every Event You’re Invited To

Events are expensive.

Everyone knows that weddings are expensive, but even being a guest at someone’s wedding has gotten expensive. Not only do you need the gift, but you may need to factor in cost of travel or a hotel room or a babysitter for the evening. Plus with a wedding usually comes some sort of engagement or bridal shower and the gifts add up!

Especially if you have a bunch of weddings this year, make a list of which ones are must go-to’s and which ones are maybe.

Maybe you can’t swing that destination wedding (and with the cost of gas, flights, and hotels presently, this is becoming super common). Or maybe you were invited to a distant relative’s wedding even though you haven’t spoken in years.

It’s OK to say no because you can’t afford it.

And it’s up to your discretion whether you still want to send a smaller gift or no gift at all. Plus, you may be trying to save for your own wedding, saving for a house or to pay off your debt. People should be understanding of this.

You need time for you/your partner.

Having an event every weekend is exhausting. Yeah, we’re young and enjoy a good time, but we need rest too.

After working a full week, to then spend an entire weekend either traveling for an event or having back to back events leaves you no time to reset and relax before the work week starts again. Or, if you have a different event every single weekend of the month, that gives you no time to spend a weekend doing what you want. You need to put yourself and your mental and physical wellbeing first, too!

Plus, if you’re in a relationship, you need to remember to make time for the two of you and your relationship.

Dedicating every single weekend to other people is a lot. Of course, if all are must-go’s, try and turn the weekend into a fun trip or staycation, where you go to the event one day and the next day have a “travel” day of beach, hiking, or just hanging out in a hotel by yourself or with your SO.

You haven’t spoken to the person.

I hinted at this above, but if you haven’t spoken to the person in over a year, do you really need to be at their event?

This is a personal question to ask yourself, and your significant other, of course. But as we know, relationships change as we go through our 20s.

You may have thought that college roommate was going to be your MOH only for you to then just speak on birthdays once you reached five years post grad. Most of the time, if you haven’t spoken to someone in a year, it’s an easy NO to say to (especially if it’s a destination wedding that will cost you so much!). Also think to yourself, when I get married/have a kid/have a christening, will this person be invited?

You aren’t feeling well.

If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that when you’re feeling sick, you need to stay home. Long gone are the days when we’d go to an event with a little cold. It’s too much of a risk in today’s day and age.

Most people are understanding currently of last minute drop-offs due to being sick. We are living in a “rather be safe than sorry” world when it comes to feeling under the weather presently, and we don’t want to put others as risk.

Even if you originally RSVP’d yes, if you are not feeling well, it’s OK not to go last minute. Just make sure you let the organizer know!

You have a conflict.

With so many events in one year, there’s bound to be two that conflict, whether they’re the same date or the same weekend. Do not feel like you need to drive yourself crazy trying to make both, whether it be leaving one early or going to two back to back. It’s OK to say no to one because you have another one the same day or weekend.

Think about which one you want to go to more and/or which one means more to you. If you have a partner, make the decision with them.

As we venture through our 20s, our social calendars change from being totally free and ours to being filled with events and celebrations for other people. That’s normal! But there’s sometimes a misconception or pressure that you need to attend everything. You really don’t. Just be sure to be respectful and honest about it. Don’t be embarrassed if you can’t afford it; things are so expensive right now!

We want to hear from you! Tell us in the comments or tweet at us. Do you have a ton of events this year and you know you can’t make them all? How do you handle it? Have you been saying no to events you’d normally go to?

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