Why Feeling Lost is Often a Sign You Are About to Grow

I’m sure many of you, like me, have felt challenged throughout life. The challenges can span across many forms: whether they include job losses, career failures, or external circumstances. Yet through the struggles, feeling lost is often a sign you are about to grow.

Throughout my twenties, I have noticed one constant theme, which is being forced to endlessly pivot. I remember starting one program in my postsecondary journey, and after a few months, I realized that the program perhaps wasn’t the best fit. 

Then, when I started another career, I realized that the overarching culture wasn’t a best fit for me, as well. I ended up in similar situations continuously, and wondered: What is wrong with me? 

But throughout those challenging moments, I realized that I grew the most as a person and as an individual. I not only learned more about myself – I also learned how to grow from challenges whenever I encounter them. 

However, I do wonder sometimes; why do we feel lost in life? 

Why Do We Feel Lost in Life?

When someone feels lost, they can feel a variety of emotions. ‘Lost’ does not only mean feeling stuck. Some people may also feel a sense of uncertainty, dread, and hopelessness for the future. 

These emotions often stem from social and economic environments. They’re shaped by the people that we regularly interact with, and the situations that we face from an ongoing basis. 

Let’s examine some factors that contribute to times when feeling lost is a sign you are about to grow.

1. Social media and technology 

In the age of social media and technology, information is constantly moving amongst friends, families and acquaintances. Anyone can search for their high school classmate, and see what they are doing in the span of seconds. But the convenience in itself creates a sense of urgency. 

The reality is that oftentimes, many people would post about their life’s highlights on social media. And when we see that happen, we often feel a sense of dread and wonder; what happened to me? 

Just because we are bombarded with constant photos and posts, we most likely feel the need to compare ourselves to the other people we see online. And when we think that our lives are not the same as the ones we see on social media, we ask ourselves: How come my life isn’t like this?

2. Societal norms 

We often feel the need to internalize societal norms, and follow such norms when making specific career, relationship or life decisions. And what happens when we deviate from the ‘so-called’ norms? We suddenly feel as if we missed a step or two. 

For example, I remember when I entered post-secondary at the age of 23, and looked for internships at the age of 25; I felt so lost. And this was mainly because I thought that I should’ve been working full time, perhaps in a senior or mid-level career role. However, instead, I was choosing to look for an internship.

Societal norms often are perceived as the benchmark of how life or anyone’s trajectory should be. But the reality looks a lot different from the expectations. When feeling lost in the mess, growth could be about to start.

3. Comparing yourself to others

Humans are sociable creatures. So, we’re wired to compare ourselves to others. 

For example, when your friend is getting married in a month, you may be wondering why you’re still single. Or if your other friend is getting promoted at work, you may be wondering why you’re still unemployed. 

Comparison is normal; everyone does it at some point. However, everyone’s journey and upbringing are different. So, it’s impossible to actually make a fair comparison between one person and the other. 

However, despite all of these factors, feeling lost is often not a sign of walking towards the wrong direction, but perhaps, is a sign of moving in the right direction. 

Ways You’ll Grow When The Sign of Feeling Lost is Realized

1. You learn to adapt

Whenever I hear people talk about success, they continuously mention one crucial characteristic – adaptability. But most of the time in life, people rarely think about being adaptable. That is often because life, and society, encourages everyone to follow set paths, which are dictated by societal circumstances. 

An example is the typical childhood to adulthood linear path. When you’re a child, you’re expected to attend school. As you grow older, you learn more complicated subject material, write exams, and join extracurricular activities. Then, you enroll into college, get an internship, and graduate. 

During these time periods, we rarely think about adaptation. We simply see what our peers are doing, and think that perhaps, we should live similar to them. However, what happens when challenges arise? 

Now, that’s a whole different ball game. 

No matter what, you’ll have to learn to work with the problem. Sure, the problem may be another hassle to think about or to deal with. But as always, there’s a solution around it. When everyone else’s path diverges, remind yourself that this separation and feeling lost is a sign you are about to grow.

Ultimately, everyone will have to be adaptable in order to create solutions. And by doing so, they are learning to grow amidst challenges, by not only viewing problems and problems, but by perceiving problems as opportunities. 

2. You learn what doesn’t work for you 

Most of the time in life, I’ve always regarded myself as a studious and an academic individual. I thought that if I could put my mind into studying, I can achieve above-average results. Over time, I realized that I actually didn’t know who I was, and that perhaps, studying by reading books and writing, didn’t work best with my learning style. 

I remember discovering this trait when I was working in the office. I was told to respond to emails, review manuals, and be cognizant of certain policies and procedures. But I realized that these tasks were difficult for me. I constantly missed steps, misinterpreted emails, and skipped sections of the manual. 

And when I decided to take on a new role, I realized that I do learn better on the job. I was shocked, because I was wrong this whole time. However, learning what doesn’t work is part of the process of growing up. 

When you feel empty, you are subconsciously realizing that something in life perhaps isn’t the best fit for you. That could be your job, your group of friends, or your relationship. And once you learn about that, you’ll get to understand yourself better as a person. 

3. You learn to trust yourself 

Self-trust leads to growth. 

And when you feel lost, you learn to listen to your inner voice. The voice that reminds you that you may be better off doing something else, or to perhaps, take the unexpected leap that you have been avoiding. That that sign that you are about to grow

When you listen to yourself more, you start to trust yourself more, as you start to learn to know yourself more. 

And trust is often what people need in order to try new tasks, hobbies, or activities, and develop new skills. 

4. Your perspective on life will change

I noticed that I would experience growth whenever my perspective changes. This is often because instead of only considering my viewpoint, I learn to research and consider other people’s emotions. 

During moments of uncertainty, life will feel different. There were moments that never felt the same before. But these changes in moments can definitely lead to a change in perspective. 

For me, I realized that little things in life matter, whether that be cooking my own breakfast, going on a walk, or exploring around the city. I also realized that if I didn’t have class or if I switched my schedule, my routine would change. 

When you feel lost, you suddenly may also realize the impact of these little things. And through this perspective, you’ll then learn about what mattered truly in life. 

5. You learn to visualize other options and journeys

We all have the tendency to stay in one mindset. And that mindset tends to be formulated depending on our environment and upbringing. 

However, it’s always worth exploring other options. Nevertheless, many of us never realize this until later. Perhaps, feeling uncertain or lost is a sign to explore alternatives and ways to grow. 

For example, when I first started an internship for my business degree, my main goal was to work for a university, or perhaps, within a university. My first experience was a reservations role in a university residence; I had to book rooms for guests, groups and other residents. But I later realized – after a few months – that the experience in itself, taught me that I wouldn’t want to work in an educational institution. 

My next internship was in an office, where I performed analyst tasks and reorganized Excel spreadsheets. I did answer a few occasional emails, and edit the policies and procedures document. Only to later realize that perhaps – office-based work wasn’t for me as well. 

People told me to tough it out. But I knew, deep down, that both environments were not suitable for me. And I began to feel a little bit uncertain — I wondered if I perhaps had chosen the wrong path and should’ve pursued another program. 

But then I realized that I should explore other options. 

This led me to explore the alternate pathway of being a teacher or an instructor. I eventually got a job as an art instructor, and I realized that I enjoyed guiding the creative process for children and adults. 

Although I still sometimes wonder about my decision, I came to a conclusion that I wouldn’t have realized my interests if it wasn’t for exploring other paths. 

So whenever you feel uncertain, perhaps your intuition is guiding you to continue to explore. 

5 Ways to Cope with Feeling Lost Before Growth Begins

If you ever catch yourself in the cycle between ‘I don’t know what to do’ and ‘what did I do wrong?’ There are many ways to process and acknowledge your emotions. Some of these methods include: 

1. Journaling

If you ever catch yourself dealing with a difficult emotion, write your thoughts down. Think about what triggered your emotion, why you are feeling this way, and what the voice inside your head is telling you. 

After, write some of your strengths, and some accomplishments which you received throughout your journey. Instead of minimizing your emotions, own your strengths and accomplishments and realize that you indeed, are on your own path. 

2. Walking 

The environment can influence a person’s perceptions and emotions. If you’re constantly in a negative space and you feel drained by the energy, stand up, stretch, and leave that space for a bit. 

You can go out for a quick walk, and explore around the city. One of the benefits of walking is that the activity improves mental health. So, a stroll can perhaps clear your mind and put an ease to the voice. 

3. Do a social media reset

If you notice that you are constantly feeling lost after a stroll on social media, you can do a social media reset. What does this mean? Well, you can choose to unfollow accounts, reset your for-you page, or deactivate your account for a specific time period.

When the lost feeling comes in, treat yourself with kindness through a break like this and remind yourself you are about to grow. After all, we truly do need social media breaks. 

4. Acknowledge that you have your own timeline 

Everyone’s timeline is different, and due to circumstances, not everyone can follow the traditional timeline. And it’s also best to acknowledge that your timeline is different, and it matches or suits who you are.

Your time will come, just like how everyone else’s time will come. After all, it is best to focus on your own path, and ignore the opinions of others. 

5. Practice gratitude 

I noticed that oftentimes in our world, we often want more, without knowing exactly why we want that. 

When we get a full-time job, we often want to be promoted to a senior role. And then when we decide to purchase a house, we often want a bigger house, with more space. However, we rarely have time to be thankful for what we currently have. 

Regardless of which position you are in, practice being thankful for all the experiences, friendships or relationships you have. Show gratitude towards your own life, and towards others as well. 

In Summary: Why Feeling Lost is Often A Sign You Are About to Grow 

When we feel lost, our own internal perceptions are often the results of what others are doing. We look at others, look at timelines, and then compare them back to our own lives. 

But what we realize is that this type of comparison is super unfair, towards us and towards everyone around us. 

However, sometimes in life, we often feel an urge that perhaps, we’re not on the right path. Sometimes, it’s best to listen to that urge, as it will lead to discovery, growth, and unpredicted opportunities. 

That’s why they all say: “The best is yet to come.” 

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