You’ve likely heard a friend say, or have said yourself, a phrase along the lines of, “I need to get my life together.” We often resort to this phrase when we feel like failure has come one too many times, or scroll through post after post of peers celebrating something. And yet “having it together” can be such a poorly visualized concept when we try to look at where we are in life.
What does “having it together actually mean though?” And who is deciding what that definition/benchmark looks like? Let’s dig into this a little.
Where The Idea Of “Having It Together” Comes From
The idea of “having it together” is similar to what we’ve written about before about society’s timeline. It’s all based in comparison. When you realize that, it makes you free to define your life on your terms.
“Having it all together” is subjective, and you get to decide what it means for you. I’ll be sharing some examples that may help you decide what that looks like.
What “Having It Together” Actually Looks Like In Your 20s
If some of these describe your life, congratulations, you have your life together! I know some of these may seem simple, too easy, or any other way you want to describe it, but that’s the point. We are often too hard on ourselves and don’t see how good we actually have it.
You Are in Good Health
Your health is a big aspect of life. In the busyness of the day to day routines it can be hard to prioritize your health. Making sure you are eating right, getting enough sleep, getting active, and going to regular checkups add up to great health.
When you are on top of your health, the rest of your life has a better chance of going well as well. It’s truly a building block of “having it all together.”
You Have a Job/Are In School and Have a Plan for Growth
Depending on your career goals, your 20s will look different compared to your peers. You may decide to go to college, trade school, or even directly into the workforce.
Whatever you decide, as long as you have a plan, you are doing great. Your plan for your career can change, sometimes even multiple times, but as long as you are pursuing your interests and planning for growth in your career, your work life will fall into place.
“Having it Together” Means You Have a Healthy Relationship with Money
A healthy relationship with money may not seem like a big deal in your 20s. But, if you want to feel like you have your life together, your relationship with money is crucial.
If you spend your 20s blowing all your money and not planning for the future, it’s going to be hard to feel in control of your life later. Having a healthy relationship with money will help you when it comes to making big, adult purchases like a car, a house, appliances, etc..
You Have Loved Ones and/or a Community in Your Corner
This can look like a variety of scenarios. There are many people in the world that don’t have the typical family/support system. Each one is valid and just as important. The key is to have a community of people that believe in you, support you, and help you when you need it. If you have good people in your corner, your life is full.
A Healthy Outlet, or Several, Keeps Your Mind Balanced
Between work/school, social life, and current events, it can be easy to get overwhelmed and burnt out. A healthy outlet will give you a nice balance to your life, making you feel like you indeed “have it all together.”
This outlet can be a favorite TV show, a hobby, an activity, or more. One of my favorite outlets is reading. When your world is giving you stress, being able to escape into an alternate world is great medicine.
“Having it Together” Means Your Boundaries are Important to You
A boundary is something you set to give yourself some peace through your day to day life. You could have boundaries with your time, relationships, and more.
The main thing you need to know is that your boundaries aren’t going to stick until you make them. When you aren’t firm with your boundaries, the people in your life won’t take them seriously either.
You Have a Therapist/Counselor/Mentor in Your Life
Over the years I’ve come to realize the importance of good counsel in your life. Whether it’s for mental health reasons with a therapist, spiritual guidance with a Pastor, or life and career advice with a mentor, they all have importance. If you are currently feeling lost in life, seeking out guidance could be the best thing for you.
There Are More Good Days Than Bad
When it comes down to it, the main thing we can all hope for is a happy life. If you have more good days than bad, then you are rich in life. Contentment goes a long way, especially in today’s world. The keyword here is contentment. Everyday doesn’t need to be extraordinary. It’s important to focus instead on the small joys in life.
Final Thoughts on The Idea of “Having It Together”
As you can see, it doesn’t take much to “have your life together.” As long as you are getting up everyday with a goal to be the best person you can be, love your people, and live your life on your terms, you are doing just fine. Let this be a reminder that your 20s can be confusing, lonely, chaotic, and more.
We are all trying to figure out where we belong and how to put one adult-sized foot in front of the other. Give yourself some grace, and recognize the good in your life. Did this advice surprise you or do you agree? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
About the Author
Kelly graduated from Liberty University with a degree in Advertising and Public Relations and a minor in Journalism. Even though it took her a little while to find her career path, she was always meant to be in Communications. She remembers writing poems and songs when she was a little girl and pitching to my parents the reasons why I should have a cell phone when I was a teenager. She currently has a blog (budding-joy.com) where she talks about her weight-loss journey, mental health and personal development. Her hope is to encourage and inspire readers and let them know they are not alone. Reading blog posts like that are what helped her in tough times and she wants to pay it forward. She loves dance fitness, listening to music, and creating layouts in her bullet journal. She's a big fan of planning, especially when cute notebooks and pens are involved. Her dream job has changed so much over the years; right now she'd love to co-own a dance studio.
Website: budding-joy.com