What It's Really Like to Be the Single Friend of a Couple

Have you ever been the friend of a couple? Where you always happen to be the third wheel. Or perhaps they invite you along everywhere because they discreetly like to live vicariously through you. You know, you’re the single one with the seemingly awesome life. You get to do whatever you want whenever you want and not report to anyone… so maybe they’re a little jealous of you? Maybe not.

About four years ago my two best friends met each other. They then started dating and now they have been married for a few years and have their home together. They live in another state now but thinking back to what it was like when they lived here left me thinking about how I felt hanging out with them. It wasn’t too bad at all. They never left me feeling like a third wheel. It was like three best friends hanging out. It was actually pretty great.

As the years pass by, more and more of my friends have gotten married or have boyfriends. Every now and then I get invited to hangout with them and their significant other. I have had some interesting experiences hanging out with these couples.

It’s as if there is always a catch. I’ve noticed that with these catches, come fairly awkward, funny, and weird outings. There are truths behind what it’s really like to be the single friend of a couple: 

Don’t invite me out just so you two can ignore me and smooch all night.

I once went out with my friend and her husband and it’s like all they were doing was showing off their love. I mean I get it and I’m happy for people who are in love. But there is a time and place for everything.

If you invite me to hangout, I think I can speak for all single people out there when I say, stop making out and actually hangout with me! I’m there to catch up, and yes hear about your relationship as well, but mostly it’s about us having a good time as friends and talking, maybe having a few drinks. Needless to say, that was not a fun night for me.

If I wanted to be set up on a blind date, I would have told you.

Then there was this other time when my friend and her boyfriend invited me out for drinks. So I went thinking it was just going to be us three; that’s what they implied.

Well it turns out there was a guy there with them. It was a friend that they “ran in to while waiting for me.” I called bullshit from the beginning.

I knew I was walking into a set up for a date. They were like, “Oh have you met our friend, we asked him to join us.” And the whole night my friend kept nudging me to talk to the guy and get to know him. I was so ready to call it a night and I ended up sending my friend a long text about NEVER doing that to me again.

No, I don’t have crazy sex with random people every night.

So I had these friends who were married and it seemed like every time we hung out they wanted to hear a story from me. Either about a date, a sex story, or just anything about my single life. As if it was full of life–well I guess my life is pretty great being a single gal– but that’s beside the point.

I got so tired of having to literally come up with stories just to keep them entertained. Eventually I told them that maybe they shouldn’t be married if they were both so interested in the single life still. Sure enough, they divorced a year later. Last I heard that friend is now with some other guy. I don’t really talk to her anymore.

Point is… sorry but I’m not going to tell you every detail of my personal life. And no I don’t go out and party or sleep around. Its not who I am and it’s certainly not what my life is all about.

My single life is pretty great as is. I don’t talk much about my love life except to a few very close friends. And I don’t live a crazy party life. At least not in the ways that most people think single people live. I go out here and there, but I work hard at my job; I have a busy life working, writing, and spending time with my family and my close friends.

Being the friend of a couple can be great. It’s fun to hear their stories here and there. It’s even better if that couple are your best friends. But it ain’t all peaches and cream when the couple is annoying in the ways I mentioned above.

All in all, there is nothing wrong with being the friend of a couple or the third wheel. It can be fun. Just beware of those with an ulterior motive.