Love is Patient | GenTwenty

The best advice I ever got about love was to simply be patient. I’ve been through the trials and tribulations that love can throw at you. I’ve also experienced a beautiful and special kind of love. Throughout my journey I have had many lessons learned and much growth. Up until about two years ago, I never knew what it meant to be patient about love. Or maybe I just never listened.

Over the years I have received amazing advice about love. Also while beginning my journey of self-loving, I found out what it really meant to be patient about love and finding it. When we’re young, it seems like we can’t wait to find it. So much though that it seems like we can sometimes forget, or not even realize what it really means to be in love.

I remember my first love like it was yesterday.

I sometimes wonder if it was ever really “love” or if I was keener to the whole idea of it. Without getting into too much detail, I feel like my first experience with falling in love was the epitome of what we call blind or innocent love. Looking back I still don’t know if I was really in love. Was there love there? Yes. But nonetheless, sometimes I wish I had never met that person. In the same respect, I wouldn’t be who I am today without going through that relationship.

I haven’t had a ton of experience with falling in love. I’ve been in love twice in my life. But I believe you don’t need a great amount of experience to exemplify the experiences you go through. Perhaps, the few experiences can be more than enough to teach us a lot about ourselves when it comes to love.

As a writer who writes about all things love, I can tell you that you must be patient. It’s so vital for us to learn how and why we need to be patient when finding or looking for love.

I want to pass on the advice I got to you. I was told the following advice once by someone very close to me:

Sometimes you have to be patient. As a woman you should never act or be desperate when it comes to love. Love is a beautiful and treasured thing that many take for granted or don’t know how to appreciate. I’m not telling you to wait around either, you should go out and meet people. Maybe that’s how you’ll find it. When you least expect it love will come to you. And if you play your cards right and have love for yourself and self respect then that love will blossom as it should. Be patient, it will come.

I think those words will forever be imbedded within my veins, my soul, and my heart. I’ve learned that in the past I rushed into things and didn’t go through the right steps to gain someone’s respect and love, as it should be. We all deserve to be loved and respected in the right way. I also learned over time that love isn’t a word to just throw around. Don’t mistake the word for the feelings. And vise a versa.

When we first start to fall in love, we get this overwhelming feeling of happiness and we feel alive. Sometimes people feel as if the other person completes them.

To me, this is where I went wrong in the past. Another person shouldn’t complete you. Rather, they should complement you.

Not compliment as in you’re pretty. They should complement your persona, and your love for each other. They should be there for you. A relationship should be two independent individuals who want to share their heart and life with each other. Once you become independent you will no longer feel the need to depend on someone else.

It should work like this: You both should work hard for yourselves and then work hard for the life you want to give each other. Each person should want to give to the other person rather than depend on them. Which in turn leads to a better kind of love; a more deserving, respected and appreciated kind of love.

Love isn’t easy. It takes consistent work, time, growth and appreciation for one another. It’s not only important to be patient when finding love, but also to be patient once you have found it. Love isn’t a word to throw around loosely, it isn’t a feeling to be taken for granted and it isn’t something to be misunderstood. Treat it as though it is a flower that must never die. Love is patience within yourself and then patience with your partner.