Lost Girl

As children, we imagine what we want to be when we grow up. One week I wanted to be a teacher, the next a marine biologist, and once I even wanted to be pediatrician. By the time I reached high school I finally knew what I wanted to be. So, I set out to reach my career goal by working hard to get into a good college.

Once I got there, I took all the right classes and got the right all internships so that I would be able to find a job straight out of college. After four years I received my bachelors in communications with an emphasis in public relations. Graduation came and went and I set out to Los Angeles where I got my dream job working in an entry-level position in the entertainment industry. After putting in my time at that job, I moved to a larger firm and with a promotion and more money.

Though I was reaching all my career goals I made for myself at 14 years old I had never felt so lost. I knew deep down I had no passion for the job I spent 40 plus hours stressing out over. It wasn’t until a close friend asked me point blank if I was happy with my life. I was about to give the obligatory “yes I am” when I decided to finally be honest with myself and admit I was not happy.

A month later I quit my job and moved back home to pursue something that I actually enjoyed doing. I wish I could say that my journey ended there. But life isn’t that simple.

My Plan B was not something that was going to happen over night. So I spent a lot of time and effort trying to work towards my new career. I figured it would all happen right away, and when it didn’t I was left very disappointed. Unfortunately, my plan ended up being more of a failure then a fresh start like I had hoped. Up until this point in my life, I had never failed at anything, so this was a huge blow to my ego. I started to let the failures get the best of me, which lead to comparing my life to those around me.

I had no idea how I was going to dig myself out of the hole I had dug for myself. It was then that I realized we have to fail sometimes in order to get on the right path. That path lead me to a Plan C and I now know the direction I want my life to go in. I realized it wasn’t so much about the job I had, but the person I wanted to be. I wanted to be able to do a job that I could be proud of. I may not have become a doctor like I wanted to be as a kid, but I realized I have always wanted to help people. If I can inspire just one person, I am happy and know that all the hardship so far during my twenties has been worth it.

If life isn’t going as you planned it is okay. One day you are going to wake up and realize you are exactly where you want to be and can’t believe you made it there in one piece. I am still working on my Plan C and I am sure life will throw another curve ball my way and a Plan D will take its place. At least now I know it is okay for our dreams and goals to change because it just means we are growing up.

And do we ever really stop growing up?