Putting yourself out there can be a risky move. This is especially true when you grew up a shy kid who got teased a lot. So it’s no wonder why it has taken me so long to be my true authentic self for the world to see.
Today I’m sharing that journey in case I can help anyone else take the leap and show their authentic self as well.

Who I Was
Growing up I kept mostly to myself, not really sharing anything about myself unless someone asked. I was a huge fangirl, even back then. I remember being obsessed with my favorite singers and bands, most of them are still favorites today. I had posters covering my walls and ceilings and I most-likely had all of the Mary-Kate and Ashley movies memorized.
As high school and college years came and went I diminished the part of me that thrived in fangirl culture, and found new hobbies and interests that seemed better to talk about with others. Not to mention I went to a Christian university so I felt like I needed to act or be a certain way sometimes.
All of this led me to sharing parts of myself with certain groups and other parts of myself with other groups. The way I acted around my family was not the way I acted around my college friends, and the way I acted around my college friends was not how I acted with other friends that I had. It was like the parts of my personality were battling each other, and it was honestly exhausting. The whole time I didn’t even know I was doing this.
Therapy helped me understand this behavior and my internal motivation behind it, as well as how it was actively playing out in my life and ultimately holding me back.

Who I Am Now
Once I realized what I was doing, and how exhausting it was, I made an effort to change. As scary as it was to be my true self 24/7, I knew that the people in my life that loved me for me would accept all of me.
Today I am proud of who I am, a Christian fan girl obsessed with music, creativity, and reading. Next up I’m sharing the steps I took to get to that place, so that you too can feel 100% authentic in all of your relationships.
How You Can Overcome The Fear Of People Seeing The Real You
It was harder than I thought, overcoming the fear of letting people see the real me. Most likely because of my fear of rejection looming around me anytime I wanted to take a step forward. With persistence and grace I was able to get there though.
Here are the steps I took to do that, and the steps you can take as well. This is how I overcame the fear of letting people see the real me.
1. Determine Who You Are (The True, Authentic You)

When you’ve gone years being fragments of yourself it can be hard to determine who the true you is. So the first thing that I did was some self reflecting.
This helped me get clarity on who the true Kelly is, and I think it will help you find the true you as well. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- What are five words you would use to describe yourself?
- When do you feel the most at peace/happy with yourself?
- What lights your soul up/what are you passionate about?
- Action: Take a few personality tests, I’m partial to the Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram, but take whichever ones you like. When you get to the results page read it thoroughly and see what resonates. Does any of it match up with the answers to the previous questions?
Once you’ve done some reflecting you should be getting a clearer picture of who you are and what matters to you. Now it’s time to show up as your most authentic self.
2. Start With Your Circle

Now that you have a good idea of who you want to be known as, it’s time to implement the changes. We’re starting by getting rid of those “fragments” of our old self and showing up as our whole self. This doesn’t happen by some big declaration or fuss, at least it didn’t for me. It’s more about showing up in the small moments unapologetically yourself.
Some things I’ve done were talking about my love for the new Taylor Swift album with friends who don’t necessarily listen to her, talking about Bible verses and faith more openly with my family, and sharing my hobbies with coworkers. I like to think of it as blending my worlds together.
3. Decide To Stay 100% Authentic In Every Situation Moving Forward

This can be the hardest step because it takes intentionality every time. You have a choice with everyone you meet and every conversation you have. Do you show up authentically, or do you match the room? Being agreeable and going along with the conversation may seem easier, but then you are not showcasing the real you. So when you make connections it will always be in the back of your head “would they like me for me?” I know this because I’ve been there.
By showing up authentically, yeah you may not vibe with everyone in the room, but the ones you do click with, you’ll really click with. Creating a few deeper friendships through true similarities is a lot better than many surface level relationships that you can only discuss certain things with.
I’ve reached a point in my journey where if someone doesn’t like what I bring to the table, I’m okay with it. As long as I am true to myself, I know I’ll find the people that get the real me and my relationships are, and will be, stronger for it.
Did any part of my story resonate with you? If so, I hope that you got some insight into how to break away from those walls you’ve built up and start living your 100% authentic self.

