If you haven’t already read it, stop what you’re doing and go get yourself a copy of Amy Poehler’s book, Yes Please. It’s funny, it’s charming, it’s witty, and it’s real.
Even if you’re not a fan, Amy Poehler gives valuable advice and provides insight for young twenty-somethings forging their own way for the very first time and she paints the picture with anecdotes from her own adventures (and misadventures) in an entirely relatable way. It’s hard to imagine finding common ground with iconic-super-woman-role-model Amy Poehler, right? Think again. She was 23 once, too–poor, inexperienced, and struggling to find her way and her path.
One major takeaway that really stuck with me as I read her book was her phrase, “Good for you, not for me.”
She mentions this time and time again, and for an anxious girl like me who is constantly comparing herself to others, it struck a chord. This phrase reminds me that I can’t compare myself and my success or my journey to anyone else, because everyone is traveling on her own path.
Something I feel that is important to point out is that this phrase “good for you, not for me” does something that I believe we can all aspire to do. Instead of tearing ourselves down for not accomplishing something that someone else has or lashing out at the person doing something different than yourself, this advice reminds us to acknowledge both parties’ success and differences.
For women especially, I find this important. Somewhere along the way, the girl-world became a catty, competitive place where women tear each other down instead of supporting each other and building each other up.
Instead, we should acknowledge each other’s triumphs, and allow ourselves to feel good about our peers’ abilities and successes.
For example, one of my friends just got a promotion at her job. Was I jealous? Truthfully, yes. I would love to be promoted and continue to grow in my career. Was I happy for her success? Truthfully, yes. She has worked hard in the last year and deserves the recognition that she has earned.
[Tweet “Another person’s success does not indicate that you have failed.”]
However, her success does not mean that I have failed or that I am behind. It simply means that she is working hard and achieving her goals. I, too, am working hard and achieving different goals, and at a different pace, and that’s okay. I know that I will have my own successes and for now, I will take pride in my smart and talented friend and allow her to shine.
This advice is also important as we grow into the people we are destined to become. I live in New York City. It’s bar central, and a common pastime is bar crawling, staying up and out late, and getting caught up in the hum of the night life. While I love the idea of it, and Sex and the City is great fun to watch, this is not my style.
I used to think I was boring and not fun, until I realized that there are other people who feel the same way I do. So, this is a good-for-you-not-for-me moment to all of those who do enjoy a raucous night life. It’s just not for me, and that’s okay too.
[Tweet “”Good for you, not for me.” – Amy Poehler”]