Ahhh, rejection.
Surely all twenty-somethings have experienced it in one form or another. Whether it is being rejected by a crush, from your dream job, an opportunity, or an executive position in a club, we all experience the same whirlwind of negative emotions, over-emphasizing the negative, and stretching it out of proportion. Because of the anger and embarrassment, it can be difficult to look past the negatives and find the positives in the situation. What we fail to notice is that opportunities often come from unlikely situations. Rejection is growth in disguise; it is not the end the world, but it can be the start of a new one.
First and foremost, rejection is an inevitable part of life, particularly for twenty-somethings who are just starting their lives and are striving for bigger and better things.
When you get rejected, it’s important to remember that it’s normal. Things aren’t going to be your “right fit” all the time. If at one point you were not chosen for a job, take it as life experience and learn from it. Instead of judging yourself and being disappointed, be proud of yourself for trying your best and putting yourself out there in the first place. It’s okay to not get what you want sometimes. Life has a way of slamming the door in your face, keeping you on your toes, and knocking you down when you least expect it.
But, think about it: if everything turned out exactly how you wanted, how boring would that be?
For one, nothing would be fun because everything would be predictable, much like a puzzle that is easily assembled. Name a time where you have successfully put together a puzzle by consecutively taking each piece and put them in their correct position the first time you picked it up. Never, right? Rejection works the same way. We don’t start off having the right pieces put together. We learn from every misplacement and grow every time we see which pieces don’t fit. In the end, when we do find the right significant other, the right school, or the right job, we can stand back and see all the pieces put together, morphing into a beautiful picture. Rejection helps us shape who we are and we need to embrace it. It creates imperfect circumstances, thus creating our imperfect selves. That, after all, is what makes us human.
Tell yourself that better days are ahead because a better person is creating them.
Do not allow self-pity. We can either moan and complain or take it in stride. Bottom line is, rejection makes us better people. Even if you didn’t start this year on a bright note, who cares! Every day, every second is a fresh new start, as long as you start with your mind. Focus on what’s good and what you like about you instead of over-analyzing every aspect you cannot control.
Look at J.K. Rowling, for example. She was rejected 12 times before being published. It turned out 13 was her lucky number. Now, look at you. You’re alive! Once you allow yourself to turn the negative cheek, what doesn’t kill you can finally make you stronger.
About the Author
Abbygail is a psychology and communications major at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. She enjoys writing, baking, movies, eating, and traveling. She hopes to one day go into Corporate Communications or become a Social Psychologist.