crossroads

Dear twenty-somethings,

I wanted to change up this month’s article and do it from a male perspective. So I asked a man friend of mine what he would like to read about in a column such as this and he said, “Cars, food and boobs. In that order.” Obviously, he was useless and that idea went out the window. This past month, I have been really busy moving and trying to figure out what exactly I am doing with my life. I know this is a column where I am supposed to be spilling the dirty deets on my love life but that really hasn’t been my focus this past month. So I hope you will all bear with me while I talk about a pretty prominent twenty-something struggle that we all experience: Life. 

It is really unfortunate to think that you are doing so well; feeling like life is beautiful just to have you wake up one morning and fall apart. You no longer care. You are just very numb. I am a huge advocate for positive mental health and addiction awareness. I believe in its importance since I have been subjected to both illnesses. It has been a long and exhausting struggle to try and get back to the better version of myself. As I am not quite there yet, I am going through this big and very purposeful transition in my life for the next six months.

I took a big step back so I could take a big jump forward by moving back in with my parents temporarily. I am one of the most fiscally irresponsible people I know – I spend my money on cabs, alcohol, and crop tops with little regard for the future. I seem to be caught in a vicious circle revolving around drinking and being unhappy with who and where I am at. I recognize that in your twenties you are suppose to let loose and be uninhibited, but this twenty-something tradition has not added any benefit to my life. In fact, in some ways it has ruined aspects of my being. So I am cutting out drinking. This terrifies me, a lot. No more Palm Breezies?! Extremely unsettling. Alas, there are definite advantages to cutting out binging on bevies as it saves money, lose weight, and gains back some dignity.

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The next item on the list of transitions is to lose weight. Bikini season is close at hand and it is unnerving because my body is just not ready. At my parent’s house they have a gym so I will be working out three to four times a week and eating as healthy as a recovering KFC addict can. Whoever said it is easy to lose weight in your twenties can have my metabolism and rethink that statement.

I realize that this decade is all about ‘doing you’; being selfish and not apologizing for putting yourself first. I feel like I have done this to a fault. I need to stop focusing on myself, my problems, and throwing thoughts of a decent reputation out the window. I have not cared for far too long what people thought of me, including friends and family, all in the spirit of just ‘doing me.’ I want to join a charity, travel across the world, and volunteer/raise awareness for issues in third world countries and in my homeland. I need to stop being so narcissistic and self-involved for a while and realize that the world is actually much bigger than me. CRAZY THOUGHT, RIGHT?

Being an exciting, intellectually inclined and cultured individual has really been a nagging, pesky thought in the back of my mind for the past year. I want to be taken seriously and respected, seen as worldly and energetic. I’m pretty sure if you looked me up under a dictionary right now my definition would be “Incredibly unworldly and boring. Has a love affair with Netflix and white cheddar popcorn. Can’t commit. Also seen as mildly damaged goods.” I need to travel, go to art galleries, read more books, paint, write, do kind things and be spontaneous. I just want to be wonderful and full of life, if that makes sense. I don’t want to be damaged anymore.

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One of the big perks of moving back home is that I get to save most of my paychecks! I have been given a six month timeline to save as much as I can to purchase a condo or a car at the end of my stay. Both of these are vital to gaining my independence. As twenty-somethings, we are still fairly reliant on the people around us because we are in that evolutionary stage of standing on our own two feet. I have discovered that relying on the people around me (with the exception of my infinitely forgiving parents) is a surefire way to get hurt and/or let down. Gaining some more objectivity is crucial for me on my never ending road to happiness and stability.

As you can tell, finding a man is not at the top of my list. I am letting that bird go free and if it brings me something back at some point, I will take it in stride. I am putting planning and strategizing how to meet men on a little hiatus this month. Getting settled in back at home and focusing on a routine takes priority over meeting men as I cannot handle that tiresome task right now. But knowing me and my life, I will still have stories for you all regardless. Until then I will keep doing what I do which is a roller coaster of attempts and fails and more attempts. If you actually read this twenty-something-life-crisis to the end I appreciate you sticking it out with me! Hopefully it gave you some insight or ideas or maybe even some comfort. I hope your lives are beautiful and forever inspired to be better!

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Until next time,

Jane