Ignite

Dear twenty-somethings,

For a lone twenty-something females, February can be the bane of our existence. There is only so many sarcastic jokes we can make, John Green novels we can read, and manicures we can get. Sometimes this feeling we get is inevitable, explosive and immediate, then turns residual. It’s that feeling when you see your friend kiss her boyfriend, it’s that pang when people blow you off for their significant others. It’s want. I wouldn’t call it full blown loneliness; it’s a different kind of emotion than crying over a boy who never texted you back. It is quiet agony, it is speechless ire that bubbles then spills over the edge. Your lack of a love life is just another mediocre stepping stone starting off 2014.

With Valentines Day just around the corner, I know it’s pretty overwhelming trying to keep that lid of levelheadedness on. But I say don’t. Ignite, blow up. For just one night cry, scream, rant and lose control. Gather up single girlfriends over two, three, or four bottles of Pinot Grigio and talk about how mournful you are for something exciting. Then shut up. When you wake up the following morning with a ‘loss of dignity’ headache, know it’s all out of your probably above-alcohol-limit system. I personally am a frequent visitor to these ‘let some steam off’ nights and I need to realize it’s what I do in the following light of day that counts. Instead of making February a month of self-loathing, let’s make it a month of self-love.

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Here is my personal February survival guide for the single girl:

I started a little project to bring some more positivity into my life – I got the idea from More Love Letters, a project dedicated to bringing more love into the world. I write notes of love and kindness to strangers and decorate the letters and envelopes. I then leave them out in the open to be picked up at coffee shops, elevators and hospitals. I use this as a method of therapy, if I’m feeling alone and unsightly I will write a letter that has the words I wish I could hear right at that moment to make me feel better. My hope is that that letter will make someone smile and remind them that they are special if they’re having a particularly bad day. I swear by this method to help you along the epic road to happiness. Here are a couple examples of mine to help you get the idea!

EX 1: Dearest stranger, we may not know each other and it may seem strange that a complete stranger could ever want amazing things for you, but I do! Living in a society where it’s constantly being called to mind to look like Miranda Kerr or an Abercrombie male model, it’s important to remember how perfect we really are. You are an absolutely beautiful human being with a kind soul and a heart full of dreams – what else do you need? Nothing, darling. Yours truly.

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EX 2: Hey there stranger, I’m sure you have a story, everyone does of love, pain and fear that has shaped you into the amazing human you are or yet to be! How lovely you are to have experienced so much whether good or bad. You may not have felt this way at some points, but all these adversities made you resilient! Look at you, beautiful as can be despite what life has thrown at you – I’d say that’s pretty impressive. The world is waiting for you to be the best you that you can be! Go and live and express without fear or boundaries for you are resilient. Yours truly.

Next up is to do something this month that makes you feel empowered and a bit more in control of your happiness.

Get your hair done, make the switch from coffee to green tea (your skin will thank you for this FYI), or register for that class you have been debating on taking. For me, I paint terribly horrendous pictures, but I enjoy it nonetheless! I’ve also signed up for hot yoga which is amazing – it’s hard to get used to on your first class, but it definitely grows on you. Just make sure you wear the least amount of clothing possible, you will sweat in areas that you didn’t know you could sweat. Sounds super sexy right? Well screw sexy, the only person we’re trying to impress right now, Gentwenties, is ourselves.

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Last on the docket is to learn something new about yourself.

We’re young, we hardly know anything about our limits and what we have to offer other people in our lives. To be honest, we need to know these things about ourselves in order to have a healthy, successful relationship. Be more tenacious at work and see what the results are, or bring your mom flowers spontaneously and see how happy you can make others with just little gestures of generosity. This is our time to get on our hands and knees and learn diligence, to fall and rise with each action. Take some time to uncover something you didn’t know you had in you. It’s always worth it to figure out what you’re made of.

This month I’m taking a break from looking for love and filling my days with me time. There’s only so much rejection and hopefulness a girl can handle and pass off, there comes a point where you just snap. And I have snapped. I need a break from the exhaustive searching and wanting. February is my month – I’m filling it with friends, workouts, tea, books, dressing up and learning new things. So put down the candy hearts that you wish came from an ACTUAL valentine, and start doing things that are good for your soul. Who knows, maybe this whole self love thing will be our salvation.

Until next time,

Jane