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The do’s and don’ts of dealing with your ex

They are gonna break up

We all have one. You know who I’m talking about ladies, we are talking about that person that you love to love and love to hate at the same time. Correct, we are talking about your ex. Maybe your breakup was mutual and amicable. Maybe when you think about it you envision Doom’s Day. Either way, dealing with your ex can be uncomfortable. Whether you are friends that communicate often, or are trying to remain in hiding forever, we have some advice on the do’s and do not’s of dealing with your ex.


Take some space. Breakups can be messy or clean. Regardless, there can be a lot of personal stuff to figure out. Give yourself as much time and space as you need before you even consider talking again.

Establish boundaries. Some of us can be friends with our exes and some of us can’t. Make sure that you are in agreement about what is acceptable and unacceptable in your friendship. Be as clear as possible. Remember, this person is your ex for a reason. You do not want to fall into a trap!

Be nice. This can be the worst, especially if you and your ex ended things on a sour note. Should you happen to see your ex out and about in public, more common that we probably like, just be cordial. Rest assured it is probably just as awkward and uncomfortable for them.


Stalk. Leave the social media sites alone. Do not log onto Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, SnapChat, or any other site that you can think of to see what your ex is doing. Do not show up to places where you know your ex will be. This will only bring more drama, heartache, and pain and possibly inspire more stalking. You are stronger than that.

Hookup. Do not hookup with his friends (it will not make him jealous) and do not hookup with him (it will only muddy your feelings). Seriously, be careful about this folks. This may feel like a good idea at the time but it will complicate matters, whether your breakup is new or old.

Trash talk. We know you may be upset and be tempted to call your ex every name in the book but please refrain. Would you like for your ex to run through town bad mouthing you? We bet not. Be respectful, after all you did care about this person at one point. We know you have to vent to someone. That is healthy. Tell your best buds. Do not tell your enemies, his best buds, a stranger at Starbucks, or the pizza delivery guy.

Above all else, we encourage you to be patient. We have all been in this boat rowing hand in hand at some point. Relationships are hard. Breakups can be even harder. Dealing with an ex is nowhere on your list of things to do. We get it. Be patient, be kind and respect your feelings, and your own healing process.

About the Author

Geralyn Dexter

Geralyn holds a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Florida and a MS in Mental Health Counseling from Nova Southeastern University. She is currently working on a Doctorate in Counseling Psychology. She enjoys reading, yoga and art. Within the next three years, she hopes to complete her doctorate and transition from practicing therapy in a community setting to having her own private practice.