Remember Elle Woods from Legally Blonde? She found a way into Harvard and graduated at the top of her class all while people snickered and called her a bimbo behind her back. Elle had the confidence a lot of us wish we had! Elle dressed in pink from head to toe and taught women the “bend-n-snap” all while mastering law.
If Elle can do all of that, we can all take a little more control of our lives and show others that their opinion of us really doesn’t matter! Follow my tips for learning how to put more emphasis on your own thoughts and less on others.
1. Stop worrying about other people.
The first step to doing your own thing is to keep your mind on your business and to take care of yourself. Run bubble baths, buy a cute outfit or a venti frappucino and just enjoy your own company. You don’t always need a gang of girlfriends behind you nodding in approval to do your own thing!
Women who do their own thing don’t look to others for approval. You have to gain complete control and confidence in your own life and be so engulfed in it to the point that you lose interest in what’s going on in the next person’s life. Don’t become self-centered but become self-aware.
2. Change your mindset.
Think happy thoughts! I know, this one is cheesy but it works. Post positive affirmations on your mirror to read while you get dressed or create a mantra to repeat to yourself when you’re feeling down so that you don’t start planning your next pity party. Emotions are normal but constantly beating yourself up is dangerous. Know your worth! You deserve to have inner joy and you deserve to have a great life.
3. Avoid comparison.
This goes hand in hand with steps one and two. Your biggest enemy when finding yourself can be comparison. There will always be someone who you think has it all or is more advanced than you in something. You’re not just like your coworker with the amazing hair and work performance. Or like your mom who was already married with a child at your age. We live separate lives for a reason. Stop looking from side to side and look at your own path.
4. Better yourself.
This step is very important! If you don’t learn from your mistakes or shortcomings, you will never progress in anything and it will stunt your inner growth. The whole point of not caring what people think isn’t to make other people jealous of your life but it is to center yourself. The point is to be so happy with your life that you don’t think too highly of other’s opinions.
If you need to wake up earlier to read daily inspiration or make to-do lists, then do that. If you need to speak to a therapist about issues in your past, do it. Don’t be afraid to make changes to make yourself better. No one has to live your life but you.
In order to stop caring what others think, you have to start thinking about yourself. Life isn’t about people pleasing but it’s about living the best life you can before it passes you by.
Living by the standards of other people can take you on a never-ending emotional roller coaster. Your inner joy and your peace is more important than anything. What someone thinks of your body or your lack of children ultimately means nothing. It’s completely okay to live life at your own comfortable pace, in your own lane. Own your lane!
About the Author
Shay has a B.A. in Journalism and Mass Communications from the University of South Carolina. She loves traveling and exploring new places, keeping up with her Netflix queue (with a soft spot for "Shondaland" and reality TV) and developing her personal brand. In the future, she hopes to pursue a graduate degree, found a non-profit organization, and become an entrepreneur.
Website: www.shayduriel.com