Relationships. This word can either be positive or negative as a twenty-somethings.
From high school to college and after graduation, relationships come and go. Some of us have been in a relationship for many years with our high school sweetheart whereas others are experiencing a new relationship every couple months. It’s all about the right person at the right time.
Once you’ve found the one everything changes for the better.
It first starts with those fantastic fireworks. The fireworks that are within the first couple of months. But do those really have to end after a couple months? No.
Texting all of the time. Finding new adventures on the weekends. Making memories as a new couple is the best feeling. But, those feelings never go away or should have to get dropped because you’re now comfortable with each other.
Like, JoJo from The Bachelorette said, it’s a feeling that you never want to go away. The passion and being cute towards one another shouldn’t have to stop once you’re in love. It should continue to grow.
So, how do you know when your relationship is real and worth fighting for?
4 Signs Your Relationship Is Worth Fighting For
1. You’re willing to compromise because you care about each other’s happiness.
Doing things that make the other person happy such as things that you necessarily wouldn’t 100% enjoy is part of being in a relationship.
There should always be compromise in your relationship because if it makes them happy, then it should make you happy too. If not by doing the act with them, then by experiencing their happiness.
It is sometimes hard to put on your big girl pants and do something that you typically wouldn’t want to.
Maybe you want to take dance lessons, while he wants to spend the weekend at a baseball tournament. In the end, if it makes them happy, it’s totally worth it.
But don’t forget this goes both ways. You should not always be sacrificing your wants and needs for the other person. It should be a mutual balance.
2. You don’t always agree on everything.
The relationship is real when you’ve found yourself in an argument. Everyone always sees fighting as a flaw and that ‘you’re not going to make it’. I’m going to tell you right now that that’s BS.
Fighting is healthy in a relationship. Why? Because it shows that you care about your own opinions and that the two of you haven’t morphed into something inauthentic.
Communication is key. Being honest and open with one another, even if you don’t agree–which a lot of the times you won’t on certain things–is more important than staying quiet.
Having your own opinion and interests is what makes the relationship balanced. Fighting is healthy and normal, but don’t let that come between you and your significant other.
Besides fighting, it’s normal to have a complaint about our spouse but consider approaching it in a different way.
Laura Doyle is a relationship expert and coach that recommends flipping the complaint upside down. “Consider what you want instead of what annoys you because simply put, what you focus on, you get more of,” says Laura. According to her, under every complaint is a secret desire and “complaining is just a lazy way to express your hidden desire.”
Instead of scolding your spouse for never wanting to spend time with you, Laura recommends stating “I know you love spending time with me.”
She describes this as a spouse fulfilling prophecy that will help create the kind of relationship you really want – vs only communicating your complaints to your spouse.
It’s essential to balance out your interactions with positive communication as well.
3. You’re comfortable taking huge life steps together.
You know you’re giving your all to your relationship when the little things matter just as much as the big ones.
Deciding to go on vacation with one another and their family is a huge step. Even trying new things such as food or trying to better yourselves for the relationship says it all.
Making other huge life steps such as moving in together and adopting a fur baby tells a lot about your relationship. It’s stating the facts that you’re moving in the right direction by giving all you have towards your relationship.
4. You are best friends first.
Your relationship is worth fighting for when you can’t see yourself without that person for the rest of your life. Having that significant other in your life can have a huge impact on your life.
When your decisions and problems become theirs and when life throws you curveballs, they are there to dodge them with you.
It’s not just the fact that you’re in love with this person. It’s that you enjoy coming home every day to see their face. It’s the smallest gestures of couch cuddles, long talks, and future plans.
Even when something is wrong, that person tries everything to fix it. This person isn’t just your significant other and lover, they’re your best friend. And that’s what is worth fighting for.
In Summary: 4 Signs Your Relationship Is Worth Fighting For
Love is love. Living under the same roof for the first couple months isn’t easy and neither is long distance, but if you can get through it you’ll be able to get through anything.
Getting through rough patches in a relationship necessitates hard work and compromise from both partners. Oftentimes, counseling improves a relationship and builds a strong foundation for the future. If you live in the Bay Area and want to solidify your relationship or marriage, you might be interested in couples therapy in San Francisco.
It’s all about communication, trust, fun, and happiness. No relationship is perfect. You just have to know that in your heart that the person you are with, is truly worth fighting for no matter what.