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Letting go and moving on after a break-up


Often times after a break-up, the part that hurts the most is not missing the person you separated from, but missing the person they used to be and the loss of a future that might have been with them. Loss is hard, but like anything else in life, it teaches us something unexpected. Eventually, we come out on top  much wiser than the person we were before. When you hear people talking about the light at the end of the tunnel, it’s a real thing, and believe me: the light is there–you just have to find it.

The end goal is to move on. At the end of this journey you are going to be a completely different person than you were when you started. In the beginning, it will seem scary and you may not want to move on from the familiarity that came from your relationship, but once it is over, you have to realize this is what you must do. Facing the reality of it all is often the hardest part. It can be hard to let go of something that you have had such a strong attachment to, but sometimes, it’s necessary. However, once you realize that moving on is what you have to do, it becomes easier and easier to take those first steps forward. Remember the moment when you first took those steps because in that moment, you took the first steps toward a new life and a new you–and that’s something worth remembering.

Relationships typically begin on a high and end on a low. In order to move on from a break-up, you need to grieve and realize it is OK to be sad, angry, hurt, or confused. This frenzy of emotions is normal and really, you should be having them. Talk to someone about how you’re feeling, if it helps. Tell a friend about what you’re going through and let it out. Scream, shout, laugh, and cry! Do not fight those feelings because suppressing them is not going to help you. But after this is all over, a tiny glimmer of light will appear and that high you felt at the beginning of your relationship won’t seem like some far off island you once visited; it will feel like your next door neighbor. Start doing fun things again, like going out with your girls, having movie nights, or trying a new restaurant. Be alive.

The key to getting over a tough break-up of any kind is to surround yourself with people who love and support you. Do not try to brave this storm alone. Once you realize that your romantic relationship was not the only sustaining relationship in your life, you will begin to realize the amazing future you have in sight. Your life did not end when your relationship did. In fact, with the opening of this new door, your life is just beginning. Put some red lipstick on that beautiful smile and face the world, because it’s yours for the taking.

Photo via Tutzone

About the Author

Alison Spann