Your 20s are a time of growth. They’re a time of making mistakes and learning from those mistakes. They’re the decade when you figure out who you really are and who you are meant to be. Through all of that, you are building skills that you will take with you throughout the rest of your life. Don’t take that lightly because some of the most underrated skills can be your foundation for success.
When we talk about skills, we automatically think about career skills. Yes, the skills you learn in your 20s do include professional ones, but they also go beyond that. In fact, some of the most powerful skills you can build in your 20s are often invisible.
But these are the skills that end up shaping who you become as a person, not just what you do. Which skills are we talking about? The personal ones. The emotional ones. The financial ones. The romantic ones. And yes, the professional ones, too.
The Underrated Skills that Make the Most Impact
These are the most underrated skills you can build in your 20s. Be intentional about them, because if you start now, you’re really setting yourself up nicely.
Emotional Skills
1. Learn emotional regulation
No one explicitly teaches us emotional regulation, but in reality, it affects every area of our lives, which is why it’s so important. How can we teach this to ourselves? We have to learn how to sit uncomfortable with emotions rather than avoiding them.
Yes, that’s right, don’t just run away from your problems. So what should you do instead? Respond instead of react to them. Much easier said than done, but a fantastic skill that will really help you out.
2. Understand your own emotional patterns
Sure, you know what emotion you’re feeling. But do you really know why you feel the way you feel at certain times? Take the time to figure out what triggers you, what your stress responses are, and any attachment tendencies that you may have.
3. Build self-trust
If you don’t trust and believe in yourself, how is anyone else supposed to?! Trust is the foundation of any relationship, whether it be romantic, platonic, familial, or professional. The first step is building the trust you have with yourself.
You can do this buy following through on small promises to yourself and by listening to your own intuition without letting your fear or second thoughts get the best of you.
The Most Underrated Professional Skills
4. Speak up for yourself
In our 20s, we feel like we can’t speak up for ourselves in the workplace because we’re at the bottom of the totem pole. But it’s important to state your needs clearly. If you don’t advocate for yourself and what you believe in, who will?
We’re not saying that you should be that person in the office always complaining about or fighting things. What we are saying is that you should set (appropriate) boundaries at work without guilt and not be afraid to ask for new opportunities, raises, or feedback.
5. Communicate with confidence
You may be a great communicator, we’re not denying that. But it’s important – and not just in the workplace – to know that there’s a difference between being kind and being passive. You don’t want anyone taking advantage of your kindness!
There’s also a difference between being confident and being aggressive. You want to be confident in yourself and your work, but you don’t want to be aggressive about it and come off as an argumentative person that people don’t want to deal with.
The way you communicate in the office – and outside of the office – is important too. Learning the importance of silence, pausing before filling space and letting statement stands will make a huge difference. You’ll come off as more confident and sure of yourself as you build this underrated skill.
Financial Skills
6. Figure out your relationship with money
We all have a relationship with money, you probably have just never thought about what yours looks like. Do you spend as comfort, reward or control? Or do you save everything and not spend a dime?
Knowing what your relationship with money is can help you figure out what your financial plan should be. You have to build awareness before you build wealth. This includes knowing how you spend your money, knowing where your money actually goes, and also understanding your debut without shame.
7. Learn the basics early on
Today’s society has made us feel like money is all about status, rather than safety. We don’t realize that there are a lot of money basics we should really understand first, because once we understand that, we can better control and grow our finances. These basics include emergency funds, investing fundamentals and lifestyle inflation.
Romantic Skills that are the Most Underrated
8. Observe actions over words
You may have heard the phrase that actions speak louder than words, and your 20s are a perfect time to really understand what this phrase means and how true it is. When it comes to any relationship, but especially romantic ones, always pay attention to their actions.
They could say all the right things that make you swoon, but if they’re not following up through actual actions, that’s a huge red flag. Learn how to walk away from inconsistency early, it’ll save you a lot of pain and a lot of time.
9. Understand what matters beyond attraction
Unfortunately… attraction isn’t enough. It’s also not the same as safety, either. Knowing that will help you understand what a healthy relationship looks like; it’ll give you romantic clarity over romantic chaos. Know that chemistry doesn’t automatically result in compatibility and that effort doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re emotionally available.
Personal Skills
10. Build your own sense of identify
Solitude is usually something we try and stay far away from, but being alone without feeling lonely is one of the biggest skills you could have. Learn how to spend time alone without numbing or distracting yourself.
Truly try and enjoy your own company. Build a sense of identity outside of your relationships, productivity or validation. This skill will help you have stronger friendships, making better dating choices, and give you more positive mental health, too.
Final Thoughts on the Underrated Skills to Build in Your 20s
Be intentional about the foundation you are building for yourself. These most underrated skills significantly shape you and your success. Remember though that these are not a checklist but a baseline on which you will continue growing in all aspects of your life.
About the Author
Michelle graduated from Fordham University with a Bachelors of Arts '13 and a Master of Arts '14. She's currently working in corporate America with a side of freelance writing. She wants you to learn from her experiences and mistakes so your 20s can be your best decade. When she's not working, she's likely planning her escape to a tropical island.