Skip to Content

Sexting: The modern day love letter?


In this digital age, our lives are consumed with media. We have our daily planner on our phone, we pay our bills on our phone, so why can’t we move our sexual relations to our phones as well? Sexting is becoming increasingly popular for men and women every day. The days of calling someone and leaving a message on their answering machine are over. People travel for their jobs more and more. Couples go to school in different states. Life gets in the way, so people resort to sexting! Tons of people do it– it’s not just teens anymore.  But why? Are there repercussions to doing it?

Does it improve relationships?

Several politicians and public figures have been taken down by sexting-related scandals like Anthony Weiner and “Weinergate” in 2011–so why would people continue to do it knowing it could end VERY badly? First of all, the attention and knowing that somebody wants you is exhilarating. Second of all, it’s beneficial to your relationship. If you’re in a long distance relationship or don’t see your other half as much as you would like, sexting may be a good option for you.

Sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko claims that “sexting can improve your relationships, especially if the person you’re sexting is the person you’re in a relationship with.” Sexting can be used as a tool to bring you and your significant other closer together. You know each other well, and know what each other likes and doesn’t like. Sexting allows you to feel like you’re with them and perhaps flirt with some new boundaries. It also builds up anticipation until you see each other next, which makes it all the more exciting!

Before you go out and try this, you’d better be smart about it and establish some rules for yourself to avoid trouble down the line. You never know what could happen:

Crop accordingly. I cannot stress this enough. Do NOT include your face so that in the case that it goes on the internet, it can’t be easily identified as you.

Sex in real life first. If you haven’t done the dirty with them in real life and you sext beforehand, things will get ugly. You won’t completely be yourself, and you never know who you’re really dealing with. They may not be respectful of your privacy and you  can’t know that your pics won’t end up online.

Know their limits, as well as your own. Make sure you both are in the mood for sexting– it’s just awkward if one person keeps pressing for it.  Their situation may not be ideal at that particular moment in time. On the other hand, if they are being persistent and keep trying to get you to do it and you’re not comfortable with it, it is ok to say no.

Don’t beg. Ask for pictures, but don’t beg. It’s a huge turn off, and frankly, it’s annoying.

Erase. Get rid of the evidence. You don’t want to hand your phone over to your father, ask him to read the directions because you’re driving and have him accidentally see one of your…ahem… sexts. ABSOLUTELY MORTIFYING.

Sexting is popular for a reason–it’s fun. People get positive things out of it, as well as negative repercussions. You want to be able to feel close to your significant other and improve your relationship. Should everyone at least try sexting? As long as you’re smart about it, I don’t see why not!


About the Author

Madigan Naylor

Madigan graduated from the University of Colorado at Boulder with a major in English and minor in French. She enjoys baking, reading, swimming, traveling, and giving into her Pinterest addiction. She hopes to one day become an editor at a publishing house or magazine.