Relationship Red Flags to Watch Out For in Your 20s

Let’s be honest – when we’re in love, or falling in love, or getting the attention we’ve always dreamt of getting… it’s super easy to ignore relationship red flags. We may not even realize that certain things are red flags. But it’s important to know them in order to recognize them. This is especially important in your 20s.

By knowing what relationship red flags to watch out for in your 20s, you’re being strategic, intelligent, and smart while dating. You know the signs to look out for. And, if you notice any of them, you know this relationship may not be a healthy choice.

Knowing all of this in your 20s sets you up for success. Frankly, just keeps you from wasting your time on a relationship that isn’t going to end well. It can save you a lot worse heartbreak in the end, too.

The Red Flags That Should Catch Your Attention

We’ve already told you all about the red flags in toxic relationships to look out for. Now we want to talk about the specific ones you should be watching out for in your 20s.

Your twenties are a time of figuring out who you are, what you want – both romantically and not romantically, and how you want to be treated. Don’t let someone hinder you from figuring all that out. Watch out for these things, and if you notice them, you may want to end things sooner rather than later.

1) Their Communication is Inconsistent

Yes, we’re all busy. And sure, there may be times here and there when they’re too busy to call you or send you a text back. But if they always seem to be too busy, that’s not okay. If they really wanted your relationship to thrive, they’d find time for you and genuinely want to talk to you.

Another thing? If they talk to you a lot one week but then disappear the next week, that’s also not a good sign. That inconsistency usually means they’re emotionally unavailable, they’re keeping their options open, or there’s a lack of genuine interest.

2) They Love-bomb

Love-bombing has become a new trend that a lot of people think is a good thing… but it really isn’t. In case you haven’t heard of it, it’s when someone constantly gives you excessive gifts, praise, affection, and attention early on in a relationship.

Sure, this may sound like positive things, but it’s actually used as a manipulation tactic. It helps them gain control and create dependence. Some signs of love-bombing are rushing the relationship, giving over-the-top gifts or doing grand gestures, and showering you with praise. Common phrases of love-bombing include things like “the one” or “soulmate” very early on in dating.

3) They Avoid Labels – Huge Relationship Red Flag

Sure, if both of you want something casual and don’t want to put a label on things, go for it. But if you really want a relationship and want that commitment, be weary of someone who is avoiding labels.

If they avoid defining the relationship they probably don’t want a committed relationship with you right now. This is also the case if they make you feel guilty for trying to label or discuss defining the relationship. And, if they reap the benefits of your commitment, but offer nothing back to you in terms of commitment, that is also a red flag to watch out for.

4) They Lack Emotional Maturity

Who you are in your early 20s and who you are in your later 20s tend to be two very different people. We are not saying that everyone is going to have the same emotional maturity from the get-go. But if someone is ready to be in a serious relationship, there are some facets of being emotionally mature that they should have.

For instance, if they have poor conflict resolution, never can say sorry, shut down when big emotions come up or blame you for everything… they’re lacking emotional maturity. If you want a healthy relationship, both people in the relationship need to be emotionally accountable.

This is something that can be learned, but your partner will need to be willing to acknowledge they can improve. They also need to actively be conscious of working towards emotional maturity. Without those efforts, this relationship red flag will continue to wave.

5) They have Bad or Unstable Lifestyle Patterns

Your 20s can, and should, be a lot of fun; no one is trying to stop that. But if the person you’re dating has a lot of bad lifestyle patterns, that is something you want to be careful of. This includes heavy partying, excessive substance use, irresponsible spending, and no direction or ambition.

A lot of times, these things spill over into the relationship; you can start adopting the bad patterns and habits or at the very least, they’ll start really affecting you and your lifestyle. People can change, but again, they have to be willing to change.

6) They Talk Badly about Their Exes

We all may say bad things about our exes here and there; they’re our exes for a reason after all. But if they are constantly bringing their ex up and bad-mouthing them, that can be a relationship red flag.

Usually it means they’re not fully over them or how the relationship ended, meaning they may not be in the healthiest place for a new relationship just yet. Additionally, if they’re constantly calling their exes negative names like “crazy,” “toxic,” or “the problem,” that tends to be a pattern… and you may be the next one getting called those names.

7) They Make No Effort, Don’t Reciprocate Any Effort

Relationships take work and effort on both sides. If you are always the one who is initiating the plans, fixing things, compromising, driving to them or always going over their place, the relationship is one-sided.

One-sided relationships tend not to last. Relationships that are healthy are ones that are balanced, not draining. You deserve one who makes just as much effort as you do.

8) Their Behavior is Controlling

This one is important to note because it can be so subtle, you may not even realize they’re being controlling. A lot of times, control’s disguised as being “caring,” which is why it’s important to know what to look out for.

If they monitor your social media, dictate what you should wear, always want constant updates from you and dislike your friends for no reason, they’re being controlling.

Final Thoughts on Relationships Red Flags

While some of these examples might seem obvious, stay cautious because there are sneaky ways these can turn up. Close friends a great way to uncover red flags. They have your back as well as an unemotional view of that person.

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