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Combating the “I’m not good enough” blues

Why am I not good enough

“I wish I was better at…”

“I should be more…”

“If only I was…”

“I wish I was good enough.”

An individual’s internal dialogue is a powerful thing. How many times has one of the previous statements crossed your mind? We have all been there; we have all had a day or five in our lives where we were hard on ourselves and for whatever reason, convinced ourselves that we were not good enough. We have all disregarded our strengths and talents in favor of our shortcomings. There is no such thing as perfect, trust us on that. We are all a work in progress.

The thought of not being adequate or good enough can create a great deal of misery in one’s life and perpetuates a vicious cycle of self-loathing and self-doubt. It sort of feels like a trap. Where do feelings like this come from? Why is it so hard to get rid of these negative core beliefs? Wait, what is a negative core belief?

A core belief is something that you have deemed to be true about yourself in spite of any evidence to the contrary. We hold on to these beliefs tightly and in a sense they can become our truths. Some of these beliefs can be completely irrational but since we are so closed off from any shred of evidence that disproves them, we suffer. The truth of the matter is that you are good enough. You are beautiful, unique and wonderful, but you are the one who has to believe that. Here are some things to take into consideration when you are not feeling so good about yourself to help you combat that draining feeling of inadequacy:

Stop comparing yourself to other people. Everyone is different. Every single person. When we parallel ourselves against others we are placing ourselves in an imaginary competition. You are also almost guaranteed to find something that is going to make you unhappy and feel inferior. Respect your own personal journey and the timeline that you are on.

Understand that you evolve. You will change in so many ways throughout your lifetime. You will have moments where you are unsure and confused and you will also have experiences and epiphanies that will cause you to grow. Who you are in this current moment is not necessarily who or how you will be forever. Be open to adapting your views of yourself and your life changes.

Be realistic. What sort of expectations and standards are you holding yourself to? Whose expectations are they, do they belong to you or did someone else create them for you? How can you know for sure that these painful things you believe are true? Engage in some reflection. Be honest with yourself about your strengths and limitations. We all have shortcomings, this does not equal not being good enough.

Get rid of the negativity. The moment that you identify the source of your negativity, destroy it. You owe it to yourself to have a healthy and honest sense of who and what you are. There is a difference between being aware of areas of improvement and feeding yourself lies about flaws that you do not have.

GenTwenty encourages you to treat yourself with kindness, love and respect. You are you. That’s fabulous enough for us.

About the Author

Geralyn Dexter

Geralyn holds a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Florida and a MS in Mental Health Counseling from Nova Southeastern University. She is currently working on a Doctorate in Counseling Psychology. She enjoys reading, yoga and art. Within the next three years, she hopes to complete her doctorate and transition from practicing therapy in a community setting to having her own private practice.


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