Stop Negotiating With Yourself: Changing Your Habits Once and For All
Do you talk yourself out of doing things that you know are good for you? This is called self-negotiation.
Self negotiation is a sabotaging tactic that keeps us from growing and changing.
The key here is to stop negotiating with yourself and build your habits into nonnegotiable systems.
Here are a few examples of what negotiating with yourself looks like: “I’m really too tired to read today. I worked really hard. I deserve to just relax with some wine and Netflix.” "I don't feel like going to the gym today, I'll try again tomorrow."
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We often negotiate with ourselves to talk ourselves out of doing something that will help us move towards our goals.
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Stop giving yourself choices. We are inundated with choices, constantly overflowing with options that directly detract from the habits we wish to build and the goals we want to achieve.
First things first:
1) Identify the habits that move you towards your goals. These are the habits you want to build into your routine.
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5 Steps To Stop Negotiating With Yourself
2) Identify what trips you up. These are the things that get in the way of you reaching your goals. For example, when it comes to working out daily, you get distracted by being tired. How can you combat this?
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3) Create a fall- back plan. Your fall back plan is what you’re going to rely on to keep you going if Plan A gets derailed. You’ll want to have one of these for every goal you set. They are a key process within the system to keep you on track.
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4) Have rules in place. Having rules in place means you aren't allowed to skip a workout - you don't have a choice. You can decide today that you won't workout tomorrow but you're still working out today.
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5) Practice ignoring external urgency. This is how outside factors (like other people) keep you from meeting your goals. Practice telling people "no" and set boundaries for yourself around your goals.
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– Just 5 more minutes. – I’ll do it tomorrow. – Just one or just one more. – If I do this now, I’ll do that later.
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Phrases you might say that mean you're negotiating with yourself:
Later or Tomorrow
Because
Maybe
Just
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Key words that pop up when we're making excuses:
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