Imagine if just 36 questions could make you fall in love with a complete stranger. That is, if you’re answers were compatible, of course.
I recently read an article that Ashton Kutcher shared on Facebook regarding this intriguing experiment. He is known for sharing and posting some pretty interesting trending articles, hot topics, etc. This one stuck out to me because of what it said: “Apparently, all it takes to fall in love are these 36 questions.”
It kind of grabs your attention, right? Well, it lead me to go on to read the article, experiment with it myself, and then ask others to experiment with it too. My reaction was just that it was quite weird. But then as I read each question, it started to make sense.
The article was originally posted by the New York Times under the title, “To fall in love with anyone, do this.” Bravo to NYT for creating such a simple, yet attention grabbing title to a very different article that questions just how easy it is to fall in love with someone.
So the basic rules and regulations of this study, that first began about two decades ago, go like this:
“A heterosexual man and woman enter the lab through separate doors. They sit face to face and answer a series of increasingly personal questions. Then they stare silently into each other’s eyes for four minutes. The most tantalizing detail: Six months later, two participants were married. They invited the entire lab to the ceremony.”
So then if that’s the case, where can we sign up?! Insert the couple in love emoji here. I mean, for all intents and purpose, they did say it can work. So why not try it ourselves?
I had a close friend try the experiment on a first date that she went on. She asked the guy to agree for both of them to answer a series of 36 deep questions, and then stare deeply into each others eyes for 4 minutes. To my surprise, she said it worked, but in the end, they only lasted a few months. As I’ve researched the studies myself, that seems to be the case. From what the original article says, some got married, some went out on a few dates, and others never made it past the experiment.
My friend said she was initially impressed that it worked, but it ended up not working out for them because he lived nearly three hours from her. The long distance just wasn’t for them. But she did feel as though if they lived relatively closer,it probably would have worked out. They have remained friends, and who knows, maybe one day they will rekindle their romance that started over an experiment.
The questions on this experiment are deep, adverse, personable, relatable, emotional, and really lead to a way to completely connect with someone.
The questions range from what if scenarios, to questions about what’s important to you in your life, questions about your morals, your beliefs, your family, and what different values mean to you. It really triggers emotions in yourself and in your partner. Not only does it bring you both down to a level of emotional connection but it also allows you both to have engaged conversation about these questions.
This is where it started to make sense to me. I find that the best relationships start out with those late night conversations. You know the ones where you both stay up talking about everything, anything and nothing until like 3 am. To connect with someone that you can have such deep and meaningful conversations with says a lot about what your relationship could turn out to be like. Most likely you both will communicate better. You both will have a better emotional connection and your love could become stronger from this alone. So this experiment, to say the least, is a pretty clever way to fall in love with someone.
I urge you to read the original article, and even test out the experiment. Even if you’re already in a relationship, test it out. Don’t be afraid if it changes one or both of you, it could be for the better in the long run.
36 questions, 4 minutes of staring deeply into each others eyes, and hopefully a lifetime of memories together. What more could you ask for?
What are your thoughts on this experiment? Have you tried it already? If not, will you?