This post is featured on behalf of Stacey White.
In many ways, our parents shielding us from the major conflicts in life can be beneficial to us, but when we get to the age where we are out in the big, wide world by ourselves, this cocoon our parents have encased us in may have ill-prepared us for what lies ahead.
We all experience various types of conflict in life, but if we have grown up shielded from these common conflicts that are generally “character building,” how can we learn to develop our own inner confidence to handle our first major conflict in life?
Understanding Our Own Concept Of Fear
We feel that when we are integrated into some sort of conflict, that we don’t actually focus on the conflict itself, but succumb to those fight or flight symptoms.
Maybe your face vibrates, or you feel like it got very hot in the room all of a sudden. We all have our own levels of tolerance when it comes to stressful situations, and, when we are addressing our own attitudes towards conflict, we can then learn to build up our resilience. But first, we have to check in with ourselves and get an understanding of what our own concept of fear is.
Developing The Tools To Handle Conflict Better
Tools come in many different forms. It depends on the incident itself. If we’re looking to develop that sort of internal strength, it is, in many ways, about exposing ourselves, little and often, to conflicting situations and scenarios.
And it’s important to remember that we all have our own resources in which to deal with it. We aren’t on our own, and maybe this is part of why we stress out so much in these type of situations.
You have a problem with something that you don’t understand, learn more about it. If you have got problems because of a medical issue? Call a malpractice lawyer! You have issues in the workplace with a colleague? Speak to your manager! There are always tools to resolve conflict, not just in terms of our own abilities to cope with it, but there’s always a way to make it bearable with outside help.
Remove The Emotions From The Event
This is probably the most difficult part of it all because if we are in a one on one conflict, we can’t help but feel that we are isolated, and can’t get the help we need. But this is never the case.
However, when we are struggling with a conflict that we feel we have to deal with ourselves, we have to, in effect, remove our own thoughts and feelings from the event, and look at it objectively. This way, we can see if we are overreacting or not.
In professional arenas, there are things in place to help us get over certain problems and conflicts, and we can use these tools in other areas of our lives. But it’s a major shock to the system when we are first confronted in this respect and having that subjective mindset can be a challenge, to begin with, but the more you get used to these types of conflicts, the better you’re able to deal with them and make a big change in your own emotional makeup.