Saying "I love you"

You, dear friend, have got it bad. You have invested your time and feelings into your current romantic relationship and even though no relationship is perfect, you are one happy camper. Before you know it, that weak in the knees, butterflies in your stomach, heart skips a beat then flutters feeling you have has made itself clear to you. It is love. It might be early in your relationship or you and your partner may have a little more time under your belt.

Perhaps your partner has revealed their feelings to you or maybe no one has broken the ice. The “L” word is a big one – a heavy one – and we know how nerve-racking it can be to make yourself vulnerable by saying it first or responding with it. We have created a list of four things that you might want to consider before uttering those oh so sacred words.

Make sure the time is right. When to tell your partner is a big question and honestly, the truth is that there really is not a set timeframe or timeline that your relationship needs to adhere to because every relationship is unique. What is important, is that the timing is right for you. Do not be concerned about expressing your feelings before your partner. Studies show that most people think that women tend to express love first but when real couples were asked, men tended to express their feelings first, after about five months. Keep in mind that this is an average. Make sure you are doing what feels best for you and your relationship at that time.

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Place is important too. Saying “I love you” is special! You want to make sure that the place is right too, especially if you are doing this for the first time. You know your partner better than we do, so we will leave the place up to you but be considerate. You probably do not want to pick some place loud and disturbing. You want your message to be meaningful and clear.

Consider your expectations. You may be ready to lay the love on your partner but your partner may not know how to or be comfortable responding when you put yourself out there. Keep in mind that just because your partner does not return the love immediately, does not mean that they do not feel the same way. Some people need time to process how they feel, to recognize that it is safe to open up as well. The conversation does not always go how you plan. Be open and be patient.

Personal meaning. Telling your partner that you love them signifies more than just having deep feelings for them. Love is a commitment. It is a connection and it is undeniable. Before you decide to share your feelings, decide what it means for you personally to tell another human being that you love them. Be genuine and make sure you express yourself fully.

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Settling into love territory is a big step in a relationship. This is supposed to be an exciting time of growth and commitment to each other. Try not to let yourself get caught up in all of the anxiety and pressure. Be yourself, be honest and be true to your relationship. Good luck!