Wine

Dearest twenty-somethings,

It is my pleasure, literally and figuratively, to take you on my journey of being a single generation Y’er living from one dejected date to the next. In a world full of Catfishing and DJ wannabes it’s hard for a girl to find a suitable, well… suitor.  As young as I am, I’ve been through my fair share of incompatible relationships which in turn has given me a blossoming companionship with Chardonnay. I am your typical modern day twenty-something romantic that thrives off sarcasm and Instagram likes. I am also living paycheck to paycheck from far too much retail therapy, shacked up with my best friend, and am longing for a John Hughes movie moment.

Since my romantic past has been a pretty rocky one it in turn makes me a somewhat of an expert at dishing out the kiss and tells. I’ve dated liars, cheaters and verbally abusive dimwits who I have let affect me more than I’d like to admit but hey, what doesn’t kill you only makes you develop a slight drinking problem. Granted these past relationships have been good for something; they have given me the amazing gift of experience. The best thing to ever happen to me was to fall completely apart, and slowly put the pieces back together on my own as I grew up. Every woman has a story of heartbreak, a reason why they are the way they are, so I know I am not alone in my endeavor to find purpose and love. My 20s have been a revelation; full of surprises, self-acceptance and forgiveness. I had to learn to forgive myself for my past and the people I hurt during those moody years. Like many, I’ve tried on personalities, hair colors and hipster trends and I am starting to find my groove – my own sense of who I want to be. It’s very difficult to get involved in a stable relationship when you yourself are not levelheaded. On the other hand let’s get real here ladies; we will always be mildly crazy in our own ‘special’ way. I feel that I am now ready to hurl myself into the throws of love with the comfort of a couple more wise years under my belt and a therapist.

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In the name of dedication I have signed up for E-Harmony, an online dating website that is more for the serious daters. Plenty of Fish is a cheaper alternative if you feel like a raging hormonal seventeen year old who likes hearing ‘Hey, I have morning wood’ as a pick up line. E-Harmony has a very extensive communication process that tries my patience. The amount of back-and-forth questions the site prompts you to answer before you can message an individual is ridiculous; it takes the excitement out of it. I am still deciding if E-Harmony is worth the money or not as I have yet to meet someone that’s at least interesting. Since I also work downtown in a booming city, I will offer insight into the life of office romances (quick tidbit of advice on this one, it is NEVER okay to hit on the president of your company no matter how many Long Islands tell you the opposite). I will cover meeting potential prospects in a school environment, as well, since I attend night classes part time. Overall, in this column I will ponder and discuss with you my online dating adventures, as well as other relations I have formed in between. This includes the proverbial friends with benefits, unrequited love and meaningless flings. I will spill on the details of exclusivity, sex on the first date, make ups and break ups and how to deal when someone ‘ghosts’ you – I would never wish that on my worst enemy. I also plan on playing around with some social experiments. By this I mean most likely embarrassing myself by approaching the opposite sex in seemingly untraditional ways. Trial and error, as I like to call it.

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In regards to my end game, I want a healthy relationship; I’m curious to see what that feels like and if they still exist. I admire my parents’ relationship and use it as kind of a guideline. They have been together for over 25 years and I can still tell they are soul mates. This of course has given me an unrealistic view on how all relationships should be. I have yet to meet a guy that will even open and close a car door for me. What I’m looking for is a man who is charming, honest, funny and doesn’t have a mother who bitterly refers to their father as a ‘sperm donor’. Ambitious and adventurous is another key quality I admire – I need someone who will get my butt off the couch when new seasons come out on Netflix. Alas, the most important attribute I could ask for is someone who brings out the best in me. I’ve spent enough of my time in relationships where all we did was stay in and either drink, fight, have sex or watch horror movies. It gets old pretty fast when you’re stuck in the same environment emotionally and physically.

Your twenties are a time to be selfish – this is the decade where high school friends dwindle from no longer serving a purpose, a career is blooming in your horizon and you actually signed up for a savings account. This is my time for me and I don’t plan on holding back or sparing feelings. I’m on a mission to make my life the best it can be and if anyone tries to deter me, I vow to kick them to the curb. I plan to be the embodiment of a strong and fabulous modern day single woman on the hunt to find someone who is good enough for her, never the other way around. I am honored that I get to share my escapades with you readers and hope to do woman-kind justice.

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Until next time,

Jane