“Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”
— Abigail Rajkumar
That quote perfectly describes how independent single girls should be! Single is not synonymous with dependent, weak or desperate, but instead should be compared to being whole and complete.
You are still a full person whether you are single or married. You can’t look for anyone else to complete you. Other people should be your complement — not your entire life or offering to the world.
Don’t let being single mess with your brain and make you think you aren’t good enough or that you have to be in a relationship to be happy. Be a kick-ass girl. Be happy. Be whole by yourself.
Here’s how to embrace the single life and learn to love yourself as a single girl:
1. Don’t dissect other people’s relationships:
We all have had this problem at one point. Wondering who’s cheating on who and counting the months of your friend’s relationship before she moved in with her boyfriend does nothing for your own love life—so stop it. Right now.
Remember you see what people want you to see on social media, and sometimes the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Stop the comparison game and stop wondering about other people.
2. Look at the positives of being single:
You can do your own thing. Go out and flirt. Have drinks with the guy on your hall or spend all night dancing on tables with your girlfriends. There are no limits to what you can do as a single girl. Enjoy it and soak in the time doing your own thing!
3. Recover from your past relationships and prepare for the future ones:
This is a vital step many people skip. No one is perfect and we all have improvements we could make. When my love life shifts, I try to take the time to look back and analyze exactly what happened so I can learn and grow in my future relationships.
I make mental notes about what I should’ve done or something I did that I shouldn’t have, so when I meet someone new I can take the lessons with me. When you enter a relationship, you shouldn’t be carrying the mistakes and insecurities from your past relationship, that means you didn’t take enough time to yourself.
4. Think and take time to yourself:
Take a moment and reflect. Take personal days off from doing work and staying busy with life and grab your favorite meal or Starbucks drink and sit and think by yourself. Fall in love with yourself and comfortable in your alone time with yourself.
Self-love is a continuous journey. If you’re not comfortable with yourself and gaining inner-confidence, you’re setting yourself up for failure in your relationships.
5. Believe in what you have to offer:
I’m starting to realize this comes into play with our entire lives and not just when dating. You’re beautiful, intelligent and valuable. Your value is not negated when you are not in a relationship.
Are you only beautiful when you’re in the same room with other beautiful people? No. We all meet people who put on a façade and that has nothing to do with our worth. Take the mental note, learn the lesson, and move on.
Repeat after me: “I am strong and complete by MYSELF. I am whole and beautiful by myself. Whether I stay single for two more days or two years, I am the same amazing person. Anybody should be honored to have me, and if they aren’t, then there’s someone out there who will be.”
On that note, I leave you with this quote:
“And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”
— Marianne Williamson
Liberate yourself from that “poor, single girl” mentality and go kick some ass!