Being cheated on isn’t fun. It’s also not pretty and there’s definitely no quick-fix for your broken heart. But there are certain steps you can take to become an even better version of yourself after someone’s done the dirty on you.

Sounds like a myth, doesn’t it? Well, in order to have the best chance of achieving empowerment after such a painful experience, you need to accept what has happened and that means you can give meaning to your life moving forward. Only when you take complete control of your life will you be able to make it what you want to be. And the most important thing you need to consistently tell yourself is that you matter. Because you do.

This is how you can thrive after infidelity and feel even better about yourself than you did before.

How To Handle It When You’ve Been Cheated On

1. Don’t get stuck in the past.

Like it or not, life goes on regardless of whether you choose to go forward into the unknown or stay trapped in the past wondering “what if.”

Your energy means a lot, so don’t waste it on those who don’t deserve it and don’t let life pass you by. After being cheated on, it’s easy to stay stuck in the past, but you owe it to yourself to move on. Don’t obsess about the details. Each time you do, you disconnect from yourself. Your obsession can take you away from your ability to open yourself up to new opportunities.

2. Keep looking forward.

Instead of letting your future be controlled by what you have lost, embrace the opportunity you’ve got to make a better future for yourself.

It’s usually the things we fear that make us stronger. It will be hard, but you’ve got to keep looking forward.

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Each day, remind yourself that the past is the past and it’s your job to focus on the present. You matter and you must keep looking forward. What has happened has happened. If you hold on it keeps the pain alive. You need to let go and release it to create a space for happiness to come into your life. The longer you hold on, the harder it will be.

3. Set yourself goals.

Depending on where you are in your recovery, your daily goal might be something as simple as getting out of bed. But goals will help you move forward after you’ve been cheated on.

If you implement a few small changes and take small steps towards your goal each day, this can help you get to where you want to be.

Long-term goals need to be broken down into achievable bite-size pieces. It doesn’t matter how small it is – celebrates all your achievements and reflect on how they made you feel. Share your success with people you trust. This will help to achieve your bigger goals.

4. Keep a journal.

One of the best ways to deal with hurt and pain is to write them down. As you progress on your road to recovery, you’ll be able to look back at your own words and see how far you’ve come.

It will be hard to accept at first, but reflecting on your own story will help you realize how strong you actually are.

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5. Be your own best friend.

The most important thing you can do when you’ve been cheated on is to take care of you.

How would you treat a friend or family member who was going through the same thing? You would be kind, caring, and tell them to look after themselves.

That’s what you have to do now, but you have to do it for yourself. You will manage your negative emotions more easily if you show yourself compassion and celebrate what is good in your life.

6. You must be patient with yourself.

You know earlier when we said you need to consistently remind yourself that you matter? Look into the mirror every day, tell it to yourself out loud and believe it. Acknowledge how you are feeling. Accept that recovering from being cheated on is a journey that you must take.

If you can’t, you will be stuck and unable to move forward with your life. Once you can accept that you know you will come out the other side, it will get easier day by day. Surround yourself with people who will support you and don’t be afraid to seek professional help if you are struggling.

7. Challenge your negative thoughts.

If you focus on regret, wishful thinking and self-blame, it will keep you stuck in the past. Constantly thinking about negative situations can lead to depression. I

t’s not easy, but it is so important to focus on the positives and challenge your negative thoughts. You have suffered enough, so don’t suffer anymore by telling yourself that you’re not good enough. It’s not true.

Think positive things about yourself and reflect on those words. The more you do, the more they will become part of you and the more likely they will become true.

8. Face your fears.

Whether you remain with your partner or not, it can be very frightening after you’ve been cheated on because you know your relationship has changed.

It can get better, but you need to face your fears if you want to move forward as this will help you to change your perspective. For example, “I am scared of being alone” can become “I embrace being alone.”

9. Learn to trust again.

This is the biggie. Learning to trust again can be one of the hardest things to regain after you’ve been cheated on. But trust can be rebuilt.

The most important trust to focus on is the trust you have within yourself. Start with identifying the people who trust and rely on you. If you recognize these people and what you mean to them, this will help you to start trusting yourself again.

Remember – being cheated on isn’t your choice. But how you handle it is up to you.