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Cleaning out your contacts: How to know who to delete


With spring’s arrival, we all have the urge to clean. Whether it is our closets, our car, or our lives, we need to de-clutter in order to feel that sense of accomplishment. So let’s start with the one thing we always have within arms reach: our phone. We are so dependent on our phones. Our lives are practically run by it. I don’t know about you, but I have way too many contacts in my phonebook. Of those people, I talk to maybe 15 percent. According to Robin Dunbar, a professor at Oxford University, our brains can only maintain 150 meaningful relationships at one time. That means that those of us that have 500 contacts and several hundred Facebook friends have a plethora of people in our lives. Our lives are stressful enough, and we don’t need that. So naturally we need to weed some of those people out. How do you decide who to keep, and who to toss aside?

You deserve to surround yourself with people that make you the best version of who you are. You want people that will influence you in a positive way, people that will raise you up. Why waste one of those 150 meaningful relationships with someone that shouldn’t even be there in the first place? Here are a few examples of who you don’t need in your life:

Negative Nancy – This girl is constantly bringing you, and everyone else around her, down.  Spending time with her makes you feel bad about your life and decisions. She offers up no positive advice, and makes everything out to be sucky. These kinds of people are bad for your mentality. You don’t need somebody to turn things south for you when you’re feeling good. Don’t let them drain you of your positive energy. No more negativity.

The Adversary – This type of friend can be good at times, but only if they make you strive for something better. They should not be pitting themselves against you, either. Usually, The Adversary puts you down and makes you feel pathetic. She’s using you to feel better about herself, and you don’t need that. You deserve relationships where you raise each other up instead of bring each other down. Find a friend that supports you and makes you aim for the stars… without any race to get there first.

The Booty Call/ The Ex – We all have that one person who is dependable for one night, and one night only: for sex. This can be nice from time to time, but is he really someone you want to keep in your life in the long run? By getting rid of this person, you are opening yourself to new experiences and new people that will be good for you. Move past the old feelings and embrace the potential new ones.

Miss MIA – She doesn’t reply to your texts or your calls and flakes out on plans if you even get to the point of making any. She’s always late or “has to reschedule” at the last minute as you sit at the café waiting for her to show up. It may be difficult because you so badly want to remain her friend, but you need to dump this one, too. She doesn’t respect you or your time enough to maintain a true friendship. You need to spend your valuable time with someone who appreciates your life and is interested in getting to know you more.

The Critic – She criticizes everything you do, your clothes, you apartment, and your relationships. She constantly finds a way to make you feel badly about yourself, and that does not make for a true friend. We are already too critical of ourselves. We don’t need more people ganging up on us. Again, friends need to support you and give you a sense of comfort in who you are and the decisions you make.

After cleaning up your contacts and rooting these people out, you will have a life that is more positive, friends that you enjoy being around, and relationships you cherish.

About the Author

Madigan Naylor

Madigan graduated from the University of Colorado at Boulder with a major in English and minor in French. She enjoys baking, reading, swimming, traveling, and giving into her Pinterest addiction. She hopes to one day become an editor at a publishing house or magazine.

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