I was in a wedding last summer and–if the title of this piece is any kind of hint–I was a bridesmaid. I was all kinds of excited. I’d never been in a wedding before, so I was anxious to get my feet wet in that regard. This was also one of my best friend’s wedding. The idea of seeing this girl who I’d been through all kind of situations with–good and bad–getting married was equal parts overwhelming and crazy awesome.
I wanted to do anything I could to help. This was slightly problematic in that I lived about two and a half hours away from the bride. While I could offer opinions via email and text, I wasn’t too useful in any hands-on aspects. I also didn’t have a car, so making a day trip to help out with invitations and any minor details wasn’t exactly an option.
With it being my first time in a wedding, I was also pretty clueless. I wish I would have read up more on how to be a bridesmaid. I’m sure there’s a few books and websites dedicated to just this sentiment, and I wish I would have looked for more of them. For me, knowledge is absolutely power. Pinterest is everyone’s favorite lately, and I wish I would have at least checked that out for cutesy wedding ideas.
Granted, I did make sure not to be too pushy or to try getting myself overly involved. Helping is perfectly appropriate and always appreciated, but being intrusive is rude. I always wanted every decision to be made by the bride-to-be. However, I do wish I would have done more to make myself more readily available to help.
I wish I at least would have been more involved with the other bridesmaids—planning little activities and get-aways for the ladies of the bridal party to indulge in. After all, you do only get married once (ideally), so as many memories as possible should be made.
After the wedding was all done and over with, I thought about how I should have taken more pictures. This could have been done on any occasion wedding-related things were being done, be it dress shopping or rehearsal dinner-ing. I could have taken those pictures and created a scrapbook for my bride-to-be friend.
I remind myself that I was a broke college kid living a decent distance away from the bride, so my actual meaningful contributions were minimal. I also keep in mind that it was first time being involved in a wedding. Another minor factor was that I was experiencing a few different emotional stresses at the time, which no doubt had an impact on my focus and attention.
Even so, I wish I would have been a better bridesmaid.
I can keep all this in mind should I ever be involved in another wedding. And I can also use it as fuel to ensure the most outrageously awesome milestone wedding anniversary parties are planned for my first best bride-to-be friend.