Today people are more mobile than ever. We move to attend university, study abroad, we travel frequently, and we connect with people online who are from all over the world. It’s no surprise that this openness to the world means that more people are ending up in long-distance relationships. Eventually, even the strongest of long-distance relationships get to the point where one or both people end up moving to the same city.
So what happens when you’ve discussed pros and cons of each person moving and decided you’re the one moving? You’ll probably feel a bit stressed and anxious about the move no matter how strong your relationship is. These feelings can be combated with a strong action plan about how to accomplish the move and open communication with your partner about all your excitement, doubts, and fears.
Assuming you’ve discussed the future of your relationship and your commitment to one another then you can focus on the move and getting settled in a new city. Moving to a new city is exciting and it’s a great opportunity to explore. There’s a really good chance your partner hasn’t been to some of the attractions that make your new city so special so use this as an opportunity to take in the sights, sounds, and events happening in the city.
Lining up job prospects prior to the move is a great way to resolve some of the stress associated with being in a new city. Work is a big part of most people’s lives and adding the stability of a job in your new city will help it feel like home faster and prevent any unnecessary financial stress from being out of work for an extended period of time. Get your partner involved in the job search – they can help you look for open positions and help practice your interview skills. This is a great chance for some additional bonding leading up to the move.
Carve out “me time” in your new city, it’s easy to fall into the habit of spending all your time with your partner since you’re finally in the same city but it’s important to not lose touch with the things that make you unique and that attracted your partner to you in the first place. If you were into yoga in your old city check out the hottest yoga studios in the your new city, join meet up groups related to activities you enjoy, spend time creating your own identity in your new city and you can avoid feeling lonely or regretful about the move.
Finally create a backup plan, you’ll probably never need to use it but it’s reassuring to know you have a plan if you ever did need it. Know who you can call or where you can go if the move doesn’t go exactly as you planned or something unforeseen happens in your relationship.
If you take the time to plan your move and set realistic expectations for your first few months in the new city you can make the move with confidence knowing you’re doing what is best for your relationship and for yourself. Remember it’s about the adventure and only you will know exactly what is best for you!