Single girl

I don’t know what it is about being single in your twenties that makes people feel like they should offer up advice and words of wisdom. It’s as if everyone suddenly thinks there is something wrong with you. I was at a family party last year where someone asked me if I was married. I told them, “No, but I still have plenty of time to find Mr. Right.” She proceeded to ask my age, and when I told her I was 26 years old she replied, “Well, not that much time.”

When someone says something like that you can’t help but question whether or not they’re right. Am I running out of time? Is there something wrong with me because I’m still single? Should I have given that guy who was a mediocre date a second chance? The answer is no. Stop letting people tell you that being single is not okay. Being single should be a time to enjoy and be spent focusing on you.

If you are in a relationship, please stop with the reasons why your awesome friend is still single. It may be coming from a sincere place, but usually it just makes your friend want to jump across the table and wring your neck.

Here are seven things you should avoid saying to your single friends and why:

READ MORE  Sex Partners: Is There a Perfect Number?

1. Have you tried online dating? People in relationships always think online dating is an instant fix to being single. While it may work for some people, it does not mean your friend is going to find her future husband online just because she created an online profile.

2. You’re too picky. No, I am not picky. I just don’t want to settle for any person that gives me attention. Not all attention from the opposite sex leads to a long-lasting, healthy relationship.

3. You don’t know how to play the game. Yes, I realize there is some degree of game playing in the beginning of a relationship. You don’t want to come off as too available or needy starting out. Beyond those reasons, what game am I playing? Did I miss that in the dating handbook we all got?

4. How are you still single? You are so great! Though this sounds like a compliment, it often leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Am I not great if I’m single?

5. You can’t be happy with someone unless you’re happy with yourself first. What we hear: “Are you saying I’m not happy?” There are plenty of people who aren’t happy with themselves that are in relationships. Being happy with you has nothing to do with being single.

READ MORE  Twenty-Something Dating Disaster Stories: What’s Your Sun Sign?

6. I envy you! I wish I were still single. This coming from the friend who is always in a relationship. Never complain about being in a relationship around your single friend. They probably won’t have much sympathy for you.

7. It will happen when you least expect it. This is my favorite. Apparently, if you are single the only thing you think about is finding your next boyfriend or girlfriend. I’m pretty sure most of us go about our day worrying about everything else going on in our lives. Finding “the one” is pretty low on the radar.

I guarantee you have said one of the listed reasons at least once in your life. I know I have heard all of the advice before. If you’re in a relationship, please avoid unsolicited advice. The best thing you can do is wait for your single friend to ask for some direction. Being single should not describe anyone more than being married should. Single and married are not adjectives I use to describe my friends and they shouldn’t be for you either. To all my single friends out there, just keep being awesome; and if the right one does come along, enjoy the ride!